Music to Squeeze a Kid Through Your Vag To.

Wow. That title is a bit graphic. No, I don’t plan on listening to this compilation while trying to poop out Rocket. In fact, I can’t imagine anything more irritating than soothing music when in that situation. Well maybe Elijah Wood reenacting his role as Homo Faggins..I mean Frodo, but that is beside the point.

I made this list of music for Rocket. Sort of a “I know you have no idea where you are and a black tar like substance occasionally comes out of your bum, but check out these awesome songs I picked just for you” music mix.

All My Days – Alexi Murdoch, Time Without Consequence
All My Life – David Wilcox, Underneath
Anna Begins – Counting Crows, August & Everything After
Baby Mine – Dumbo
Baby, Now That I’ve Found You – Alison Krauss, Now That I’ve Found You: A Collection
Beautiful World – Colin Hay, Man At Work
Blackbird -Sarah McLachlan, I Am Sam
Building The Snowman – George Winston, Forest
Cloudy This Morning – George Winston, Forest
Cody’s Song – Kenny Loggins, Leap of Faith
Conviction of the Heart – Kenny Loggins, Leap of Faith
The Cradle – George Winson, Forest
Crazy Love – Van Morrison, Moondance
Dear Prudence – The Beatles, The White Album
Reverie – Debussy
Down by the Sally Gardens – Alec Finn, Blue Shamrock
A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes – Cinderella
Dreaming My Dreams – The Cranberries, No Need to Argue
Easy Silence – Dixie Chicks, Taking the Long Way
Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, Once
Grassland Chant – Lion King
Harvest Time – Thomas Newman, Little Women
The Healing – James Newton Howard, Lady in the Water
The Heart of Life – John Mayer, Continuum
Heaven Is a Word – Carla Werner, Departure
Hey Jude – The Beatles, LOVE
I Found a Reason – Cat Power, The Covers Record
I Will – Alison Krauss, Now That I’ve Found You: A Collection
If I Could – October Project, Falling Farther In
In My Heart – Moby, 18
In My Place – Coldplay, A Rush of Blood to the Head
In Your Eyes – Peter Gabriel, So
Into the Mystic – Van Morrison, Moondance
The Ladder – Paula Cole, Harbinger
Last Lullaby Here – George Winston, Forest
Let Go – Frou Frou, Details
The Lioness Hunt – Lion King
Love is a Song – Bambi
Love Song to a Ballerina – George Winston, Forest
Lullaby – Dixie Chicks, Taking the Long Way
Lullaby (Goodnight My Angel) – Billy Joel, Greatest Hits
Melt Your Heart – Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins, Rabbit Fur Coat
Mon Enfant (My Child) – George Winston, Forest
Nattoppet – Detektvbyran, Hemvagen
A New Day Has Come – Celine Dion
Nice Weather for Ducks – Lemon Jelly, Lost Horizons
No One – Athenaeum, Radiance
Nothing Like You – Shawn Colvin
Once Upon a Dream – Sleeping Beauty
Part of Your World – Little Mermaid
Paths of Desire – October Project, October Project
Reasons Why – Nickel Creek, Nickel Creek
Satellite – Dave Matthews Band , Under the Table and Dreaming
Sleep On – Alison Krauss, Now That I’ve Found You: A Collection
The Snowman’s Music Box Dance – George Winston, Forest
So This is Love – Cinderella
Someone’s Waiting for You – The Rescuers
Somewhere Over the Rainbow – Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
Teardrop – Massive Attack
Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper
True Colors – Cyndi Lauper
Under the Sea – Little Mermaid
Variations on the Kanon by Pachelbel – George Winson, December
Wanderlust – Carla Werner, Departure
When You Wish Upon a Star – Pinochio
Where You Are – October Project, October Project
You Picked Me – A Fine Frenzy, One Cell in the Sea
Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah – Song of the South


Side Note:
Keep in mind this list was created for an infant. Once Rocket becomes a toddler he or she will be introduced to the likes of Metallica, Snot, (hed)PE, Faith No More, and Helmet. All fine bands that every child should be able to sing to while pouring sand down their diaper.

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2 Responses

  1. Homo Faggins?

    Hilarious.

  2. I must to have.

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