The Blairs

A couple days ago I spent some time over at the Blair’s with their new son Rowan. Well, he is not so new anymore…he is already 4 months old! I can’t believe how quickly the time has passed. Just look at the cute little monkey.

It is a crack up to listen to Ryan speaking in a high girly “baby talk” voice to Rowan. He is such a good dad.

He was getting Rowan to laugh so hard! And it caused Ryan and Ashley to start cracking up which in turn made Rowan laugh even harder. Hilarious!

I am SO EXCITED to have these moments with Rocket!! Oh man, that poor little guy is going to hate my camera after a few days.

What Part of “Exactly” is Unclear to You?

Today Jeremy and I went to this Greek place around the corner for lunch. The girl working the register seemed fairly competent until Jeremy tried to place his order. It seemed like a very simple, clear request but apparently we were wrong. This is what happened:

Me (ordering first): I would like the single chicken souvlaki with rice and a pita and a bottle of water.

Waitress (to Jer): And you, sir?

Jer: I will have exactly what she ordered.

Waitress: You want the chicken souvlaki?

Jer: Yes.

Waitress: You want rice with that?

Jer: Yes.

Waitress: You want pita?

Jer (now trying to ease the “your a fucking moron” tone from his voice): Yes

Waitress: You want bottled water?

Jer (looking at me, completely dumbfounded): Yes.

I am sorry. I don’t mean to sound like a total dick, but is there some other definition of the word “exactly” that I am not aware of? I can picture her having this conversation with someone:

Waitress: That guy looks exactly like Richard Pryor!

Person she is talking to: What are you talking about? That guy is white.

Waitress: Well I didn’t say they were identical.

In Which I Have a Heart Attack

Totally ripped off the blog-titling styles of Badass Geek.

This morning when I tried to log into my computer at work I kept getting an error that my password was invalid. I tried numerous times to get it to work, being extra careful to enter what I thought was the correct information. But for some reason I wasn’t able to log in. Well after a few attempts the panic started to set in.

Why; do you ask? The last time someone tried to log in to their computer and couldn’t, they were getting fired. Suffice it to say, I freaked out a little. I couldn’t think of any reason why I would be getting fired. And certainly not without any sort of warning or probation period. I don’t know about you, but sheer panic is not the way I like to start my workday.

Fortunately my keyboard was just being finicky and I was eventually able to log in.

My heart is still racing.

Everyday Life – Family Photos

This is one of my favorite pictures of my brother and sister and me. We actually have one more sister, but for some reason she is not in the picture. This really makes me miss Halloween as a child. The thing I really love about this picture is that this could have actually been taken just on any old day. Our grandmother was very much into theater and we always loved to play dress up with her costumes.

This is a picture of me at the ripe old age of five. Getting ready to rock out to some Bach and Handel on the piano, apparently. Nothing says future classical pianist like a rainbow nightgown!

Age Can Be Deceiving

This week I have had three people ask my age and all three were shocked to find out that I was over the age of 24. While I am very flattered, it totally cracks me up. What should some one my age look like? Should I be on the verge of having one too many visits to Dr. Pullmeface Fixmaboobs? Should I look like Joan Rivers who, according to the Bob and Tom Show, will have a goatee if she has one more face lift?

For those who don’t know me, what would you guess my age will be on my upcoming birthday?

Try not to let my love of profanity, toilet humor, and hatred of Elijah Wood influence your guess. I am over the age of 12, despite what my blog may tell you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ASHLEY!!

May your day be filled with many slices of chocolate cake and several good birthday spankings!

Everyday Life – Guitar Hero Aerosmith

What do you think? Too much?


Side note:
Good lord! Why didn’t anyone tell me I was such a freak? Maybe I should look into becoming a professional provider of “courtesy thumbs.” TOTALLY KIDDING. I have no desire to stick my thumb up anyone’s nappy whale eye. I don’t care how much money they are offering.

Motherhood Sucks.

Not being a mom. No, that is amazing, awesome…I can’t wait to experience it to its fullest.

I am talking about Motherhood Maternity, the store. I went shopping this weekend for maternity clothes. I am getting to the point where I need to have a little more flexibility than what is hanging in my closet. So with credit card in hand, I went marching into the store on a quest to find something comfortable, yet classy and attractive. Little did I know how daunting my task would be. I dug and dug and dug through the racks until I finally found a few items I could tolerate. Didn’t love, just didn’t necessarily gag at the site of them. After trying them on I decided to purchase them with the thought that, if I wasn’t satisfied, I would just return them.

As my goods were being rung up, the lady working the counter says, “Now, so you know, our return policy is 10 days for store credit.”

Me: “I can’t get my money back?”

Lady: “No. You can only get credit for use in the store.”

Me: “So if I decide, 10 minutes after I have walked out of the store, that I don’t really want these after all, my only option is to come back and choose from the rest of the shit that I didn’t want, either?”

Lady: *no response..just stares at me, dumbfounded that I don’t find her gigantic hippy printed mumus to be the most attractive attire on the planet.*

Me: *Taking back my credit card* “Thank you for your help. I will be spending my money, elsewhere.”

Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing you have ever heard?! I probably wouldn’t have cared if they had had a better selection.

I ended up walking down to Macy’s to their maternity section, found a ton of cute items, and happily walked away with four new tops. The lady working the department was so helpful and said that I could return anything I wanted for cash, as long as they still had the tags. Now that is what I call “good service.”

On a funnier note, I saw that Lucky brand jeans makes their own version of maternity pants. ….for the bargain price of $120 dollars! Yeah right! Who in their right mind would spend that kind of money on pants that will be worn for maybe three months? That’s ridiculous. I don’t care how cute they are.

8250

Pronunciation: ’ā-tē • ’tü • ’fif-tē

8.jpg Weeks until we leave for my sister’s wedding in Curacao! I can’t wait. I need a vacation like you wouldn’t believe!!

2.jpg Number of things I learned about Rocket this weekend.

1. He doesn’t like to be squished. I was laying on the couch watching a movie with my arms folded across my belly and Rocket started kicking like crazy. So I moved my arms away to watch my stomach move and twitch, but he wouldn’t move. Well as soon as I put my arms on my stomach he started kicking again, where my arms were. Like, “Hey! Get off a me!”

2. He is very stubborn when it comes to Jeremy. Rocket will be moving and kicking like crazy, but as soon as Jer puts his hands on my belly to feel it, he stops. And wouldn’t you know it, when Jer removes his hands, he starts kicking again. Little stinker.

5.jpg
Number of hours it took me to read this.

I recommend it to all mothers out there. Old and new.

0.jpg Number of names we have been able to come up with for Rocket. We have called him Rocket for so long that the only thing that seems to fit is..well… Rocket.

Rocket

When I imagine Rocket as a toddler, this is exactly what I envision. Some punk ass, tough as nails kid who loves his daddy and his drums. I can’t wait! I CAN’T WAIT!!!

I am going to start taking this kid to concerts as soon as he is old enough to hold up his head. He is going to be the most well versed child when it comes to music. Oh and I think he needs to learn to skateboard. Yes, yes, I know…don’t force the kid to be something he doesn’t want to be. But for hell’s sake, I am going to have some fun until the kid becomes the stubborn little boy I know he will be. (I am STUBBORN AS HELL, especially when people tell me what to do…so I know it is coming.) But I have a feeling he’s going to be a little rockstar. He goes crazy whenever I play Faith No More on my iTunes, but sits there like a little lump when something like Madonna comes on. Cracks me up.

I also know that when he is just a little baby, that he is going to be such a mama’s boy. And that’s just fine with me. I am happy to cuddle him, and smell him, and just be amazed that this screaming thing who just won’t be satisfied is our son, our little man, our Rocket.