Dude…

…I am in a total funk. I can’t get myself motivated to do anything. Alright that is not entirely true. I am doing enough that people don’t think I have totally lost my mind. But honestly, AAAAAAARRRGGH, I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE. Everything just feels like it is too much. I seriously need some time to myself. (And for the record, this has nothing to do with Jer. We are great.) I just feel so overwhelmed with all the shit that I have to take care of. Things to buy, rooms to clear out, furniture to buy, daycare to figure out. Oh fuck, how the hell am I going to figure out daycare?! I think the reality of this is finally hitting me and I don’t know how to cope. I think I am in the midst of a mini panic attack. I just don’t want to deal with it.

On the other hand, all I can think about it how excited I am to hold Rocket; to sing silly songs together, to dance around like maniacs while we pick up the toys. I think about how much fun it will be to take Rocket to the zoo or to a carnival for the first time. How hilarious it will be to see his/her first reaction to something sour or to something startling. Just picking Rocket up in the middle of the night to cuddle with his/her warm, squishy, Baby Magic goodness.

I am having to serious conflicting emotions here people. Pretty sure it is going to be like this for the rest of my life. *deep breath* This is good. It will be okay. Just keep telling yourself that.

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2 Responses

  1. Breath. You will have feelings like this come and go. This is just a part of the hormones well and the life changing experience but the hormones are the biggest issue now. Breath it will all work out!

  2. I hate being in a funk. Whenever that happens, I try to do something I know will make me work myself out of it. I pick up my camera and go shoot some pictures, watch episodes of “The Office”, or go for a drive with my music blasting.

    Not that I have as much going on in my life as you do, being pregnant and all, but I can still sympathize.

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