Three Lists of Three

Things I Love:
1. Lounging around with Jer watching movies in our P.J’s. This is usually our Sunday ritual. I look forward to it every week. Sometimes we like to have a theme. For example, we will have what we refer to as “White Trash Night” where we eat fish sticks and mac n’ cheese and watch something really corny like The Cannonball Run. (Which kicks ass by the way, for those of you who have not seen it.)

2. Kettle Korn. Not the microwavable crap you buy at the store. I am talking the Movie Theater/Disneyland bag of kettle corn that is more caramel than corn. When Annie, Jeremy, and I were in Disneyland we bought a bag of this while walking around the park. My decision making ability must have been taken over by a five year old (it happens in Disneyland), because I ate myself sick. And then continued to eat it. I think the named should be changed to Crack Corn. That shit is addicting.

3. Word Puzzles. Yes yes. I am a dork. This is not the first time this has been revealed here. I love to do crossword puzzles, anagrams, logic puzzles, anything of the kind. This is definitely a hobby I picked up from my mom. She can solve the NY Times Sunday puzzle in less than 5 minutes. Someday I would like to be that skilled, but for now I am happy being able to solve the Hard Level without having to look for the answer in the back.

Things That Make Me Want to Stab People in the Eye:
1. People who say this, “Ok, but let me just tell you this one thing.” This usually occurs after they have been asked not to tell you something about a show, book, movie, play, story…you get the picture…that you haven’t seen. What part of “Please don’t tell me ANYTHING, I want to see it for myself,” implies that any little thing you might want to share is going to be okay with me? And when you ask them to stop, they talk louder over the top of you to make sure you hear what they were going to say. There is only one word for this. Asshole.

2. Men who drive or walk around without their shirt on. Unless you are at the beach, a swimming pool, or in the midst of changing from one shirt to another, there is no reason for this. In fact it is just sick. I don’t care how nice of a build you have, it only says one thing. I am shallow; look at my nipples.

3. Slow people. I don’t know why I like to do everything fast, but I do. I read fast, talk fast, drive fast, paint fast. You name it, I try to do it as fast as I can. Why am I like this? Beats the hell out of me. All I know is that if it can’t be said, done, beaten, arrived at in what I deem to be “a reasonable time,” it’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. This is not something I can explain more thoroughly. Sometimes if it takes me 45 minutes to get home, that is ok. Other days if I can’t get home in 25 minutes or less, it makes me so pissed. I am not really sure what would make the difference. Maybe I should make a mental note to see if I can find a cause and effect.

Things That Sick Me Out:
1. Sharing dairy. Can’t do it. Won’t do it. Can’t even watch other people do it. When two people order and share something like a brownie sundae, and the ice cream gets all slimy and melted and mixed with soggy brownie chunks, and the residual from each others forks…ugh, I think I am going to puke. Good hell, that is the sickest thing in the world to me. Seriously, I am starting to dry heave just writing about it. **pphhheeeewwww..breathing deeply…we’re gonna need a young priest and an old priest…***

2. Eating food that should be hot, but is now cold or room temperature. I will often ask the employee, when ordering a coffee or hot chocolate, to make it RIDICULOUSLY HOT. Make it so hot, that I can barely even hold the cup for the next 5 minutes. I hate getting to the bottom of my cocoa, or what have you, and having that last drink be lukewarm. This also goes for desserts like apple pie. Biting into a piece of apple pie and having cold filling touch my mouth is almost as gag-inducing as the sharing of dairy. Oh and don’t even think about getting that cold ice cream anywhere near my piping hot slice of apple goodness. Only two things can occur from this. One, the ice cream will melt. Sick. Two, that part of my pie will get cold and become inedible to me. Total waste.

3. Brushing my teeth at the same time as someone else. Seriously. I have to leave the room. Especially if the person is getting all foamy and shit, letting it run down the end of their toothbrush to plop into the sink. I think my hatred of the look of this and the look of melted ice cream are some how related. One always reminds me of the other and well…there you are.

What are your three? Pick the category. It doesn’t matter. Just share. Feel free to leave them in the comments if you would like.

One Response

  1. Things That Make Me Want to Stab People in the Eye:

    1) Waiters/Waitresses who put a slice of lemon in a glass of water without me requesting it or them asking me first. If I wanted lemon, I would ask. I shouldn’t have to say “Can you not put lemon in mine, please? Thanks.” I don’t care about restaurant policies, I just don’t like feeling like an ass requesting a fresh glass of water sans lemon.

    2) People who use big, complicated words, and don’t know the proper way to use them. Hiding behind a thesaurus to give the illusion of intelligence can be glaringly apparent.

    3) Talking about politics. I know this country wouldn’t properly function without our political system, but that doesn’t mean that I want to talk about it all the time. I don’t care about the individual political views of others; Its a personal choice and I’m not going to be the one to tell them they are wrong. Same thing goes with religion and finances… I refuse to talk about those things, too.

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