Sing! Sing a Song….

I have this thing with theme songs. I love them. Not theme songs from movies or game shows or the like, but themes songs that I determine for hypothetical (or potentially real) scenarios in my life. I have several theme songs; these are just a few of my favorites:

1) My “World Domination” Theme Song.
If I ever decided that I was going to pull a “Pinky and the Brain” and try to take over the world. This would be my song (specifically minute 4:32 – 4:53 played at a ridiculously loud volume). I imagine myself dressed something like this, the wind ripping my leather trench coat and hair out behind me as I lead my army of minions into battle. I don’t really have any dreams of world domination, honestly. I just think that I may have seen the Fifth Element one too many times.

2) The “Let’s Pick Up Your Toys” Theme Song
I know there will be a time when Rocket will be of the age when he needs to learn how to pick up after himself. I thought making a silly game of it would help him to see that keeping things tidy doesn’t have to be a huge chore. (This is also for myself as well. I am a bit cluttery…I’m working on it.) I picture us dancing around like a bunch of goof balls, laughing at our silliness and making funny poses while we drop his matchbox cars and legos into the toy box. This little ditty is what plays in my head when I think of this moment.

3) The “I’ve Started My Own Creepy Religion and I am Standing on a Balcony Blessing My People Like I am the Pope” Theme Song.
Again, I have no desire to do anything like this. This is just what happens inside my warped little head when I let my mind wander while the radio is on. Suffice it to say, this song would be the one I would choose as my personal “Ave Maria” or whatever the fuck you would call it.

Sometimes songs pop into my head when I am around certain people.

At my old job, my boss was a jackass. We gave him a song. We would actually play it on our speakers when he walked by but, because he was a total bag of douche, he never seemed to put two and two together.

Does anyone else do this? Explain yourself, please!


Just when you thought it couldn’t get any funnier!!

Just a Thought.

I am sure that this person has some very good and interesting things to say, but he might want to reconsider one of two options.

a) Changing his name.
2) Singing back up for Samwell.

Tough decision.

Everyday Life – Color Genius

I told you. I take my 64 pack very seriously.

Do You Take Cash or Fear?

Last night my family (mom, dad, brother, Jer and me) went to this “get a free dinner, if you listen to our schpiel” presentation. My mom’s name had apparently been selected from a drawing she had entered. It was one of those things where they claim at the beginning that you aren’t obligated to purchase anything, they are not here to sell anything to you. But then for the rest of the evening it’s just one huge commercial for whatever shit they are really trying to peddle.

Last night’s presentation was on fire safety. What this really meant was that they were going to try to sell you fire extinguishers and really fucking expensive heat sensor/smoke alarms by trying to scare the holy living shit out of you. There were at least four stories through out the evening in which the speaker described how a three year old was burned beyond recognition while his mother was being restrained outside the house by three firemen. Yeah. Just what I want to hear while I am sitting there with our son growing inside of me. Let’s add death and screaming children to the already vivid and graphic dreams I am having. Brilliant!

When we first walked in, the lady giving the presentation was handing out name tags for us to wear. I am not one for audience participation (yes, snotty, I know, but get over it), so I proceeded to put my name tag on my purse which I then shoved under my table. Jeremy proceeded to place his right on his penis (Ok, not directly on his penis, but on the very end of his tie so that it laid on his penis region. I wonder how many google searches will hit my site for the word “penis”?!) When the lady came over to talk to Jeremy, she looked for his tag and when she couldn’t see it, she said “Did I not give you a name tag?”

Jeremy: “You did. It’s right here. . .on my penis!”

Lady (starting to giggle like a school girl):
“Well I can’t see it there!”

Jeremy: “It’s the only place you need to look, baby.”

Lady (now obviously twitterpated, giggles and leans into his shoulder, completely oblivious to me..HIS WIFE…watching this all happen):
“Oh Jeremy…hee hee…”

Me (as she is walking away):
Don’t touch my husband.

As you can imagine, she didn’t bother us for the rest of the evening. Mission accomplished. We are such dicks sometimes, but man it is entertaining!

As another form of audience participation she had us fill out a worksheet based on a video she was showing on fire safety. One of the sections asked you to name the 8 areas or rooms in your home where fires were most likely to start. These where some of our answers (mind you, we took this VERY seriously):

1. The bathing suit area.
2. Your mom’s kitchen.
3. That place where the Nazis stuck the Jews Oven
4. Fireplace

At the end of the evening you had the option of filling out a comment card about the presentation. Jeremy filled one out, stating that he found it to be degrading and belittling to come to a presentation where their only selling tactic was fear-based. In the space available for your occupation he put “Fire Safety Equipment Salesman.”

Too Many Blogs

I need to figure out a way to consolidate all the different blogs that I have. I was thinking of putting everything into this one blog. Like having a daily photo, painting, etc. What do you think? Someday I would like to have my own real live website, but for now the time and financial means for what I want are just not available. Well…technically they are, I am just trying to be more responsible and not spend money on things that aren’t totally necessary right now.

Anyhow, just looking for some ideas or suggestions that anyone might have.

Update: I think I found a way to post my photos and art on this blog. Check out Your Daily Dose in the right-hand side bar!

Everyday Life – NEW TOY!!

Let’s just say I am one happy camper, today!

#31 30×365: Vanessa

I am very impressed with, and quite envious of, the work that you do. Someday I would like to have a job as cool as that. Here’s to wishful thinking!

Egon Schiele

My parent’s gave me a book on Egon Schiele for my birthday. He is probably one of my top five favorite artists (among Marc Chagall, Wilhem DeKooning, Joel Peter Witkins, and Francis Bacon) I really admire his use of color washes and texture. I love how he makes the most gruesome figure look absolutely beautiful. He is a huge influence on how I paint.

These are some of my favorite works of his:

Not only are his figures incredible, but his landscapes are equally as breath-taking:

What artists do you admire?

Happy Anniversary, Baby!!

Best years of my life!! Love you.