Because If You Don’t Look Good, We Don’t Look Good.

In regards to my soon to be country star dilema, I have been thinking about what the fuck I should do with my hair. I have heard of these online hair makeovers that you can do, so I thought I would check it out. I am sure by now you lovely, lovely readers can imagine how successful that was and how seriously I took it once I saw its glorious potential.

Let’s review the results!

The Playskool

Not bad. Not bad. I like that it looks like my hair snaps into place. This is good.

Mrs. Thelma

I think Mama sent Miss Naomi Oates out to look for her hair.

Not Queen, Not Duke, Not Prince

IF I WERE KING OF THE FOREEEEEEEEEEESSST! I don’t think I have the courage to get this one.

The Dead Squid on My Head

‘nough said.

The Tufnel

In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people… the Hairstylists. No one knows who they were or what they were doing…

The Dee

WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT. NO! WE AIN’T GONNA TAKE IT! Sorry. For some reason that just popped into my head. Not sure why….


This was helpful.

I think these hairdos are going to be a big big hit. What do you think?

5 Responses

  1. I can’t get past the “Wizard of Oz” joke. Laughing too hard to comment!

  2. dear god in heaven those are SO WRONG!!! uuugggghhh. i will fly to utah and cut your mormon ass hair myself. i do a wicked set of layers, i’mjustsayin

  3. one more thing, “mormon ass hair” does not imply that it is BAD! just that it’s pentecostal long. omg, that’s what you should do! FRENCH BRAID IT!! you don’t need to cut it after you push out the watermelon, just do a creepy sister-wives looped-under french braid thing. aaawweeesooommeee!

  4. Mormon hair? Oh, my.

    Well, dear, none of those are working for me either, but part of the problem with those hairdo sites is that the scale of your head is all wrong (or at least I hope it is. If your noggin really is that big, my apologies and my sympathies.)

    You’re better off just pulling a bunch of photos out of magazines and finding a great stylist who can show you how it will look. Mine has a way of holding it up or pinning it in certain ways or using extensions to show me what bangs would look like on my real life-size head.

    Good luck.

  5. Yeah those were creepy, and people thought my pics of my people in a jar were freaky. LOL Your real hair looks MUCH better.

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