Airlines, Weddings, and Boobs.

So it was an early start for our trip to Curacao. As our flight was scheduled for 8AM, we arrived at the airport at the ungodly beautiful hour of 5:30 AM. Jeremy dropped me at the terminal with our bags and then took off to leave the car in long-term parking and hop on a Shittle…I mean Shuttle back to the terminal. While I was waiting for him, I noticed my sister, Karey, at the counter with her fiance, Henry and son, Rily. They seemed to be in some sort of discussion with their travel agent and the airline. We later found out that they had mistakenly missed their Tuesday flight, thinking they were supposed to leave on Wednesday. On top of that, they found out that their travel agent never actually charged their card for the tickets. This all resulted, unfortunately, in them having to fork out a larger sum of money than originally planned for their flights. Not the best way to start things, but they didn’t have much of a choice as some of the wedding guests were already on the island, and the remaining were flying there that day.

Jeremy, being the sweet, caring husband, that he is, booked us First Class airfare for the entire trip. He said he didn’t want to cram his 7 month pregnant wife into a coach seat for 12 hours. And man, I can’t thank him enough! It was so nice to be fed on every flight, and to recline back in my nice, big, comfy chair. And to kill time, Henry was nice enough to put the entire first season of Robot Chicken on my iPod. I did feel kind of bad though (not really), since Karey, Henry, Rily, and David (another friend that joined us on the flight) were back in coach on the same flight. Haha. Suckas! Our flight had two layovers: one in Dallas, and one in Miami. We finally arrived at our destination at about 7PM. So not bad! That was until we got off the plane…

Holy fuck, what is the deal with all this *humidity?! (This will probably be a continual bitch in this post). It was like stepping out into a sauna. My hair that I had carefully straightened that morning rapidly kinked up into a Dee Snider attack. We had to stand around in the 90° heat for about 45 minutes, waiting to go through customs and then to get on our shuttle to the hotel. Fortunately there weren’t any noticeable amounts of bugs, otherwise I probably would not have been able to remain as calm and collected as I was in my “oh my god, I am already an oven and I am now sweating like a large man” state.

We finally arrived at our hotel (*To give you a better idea on the humidity factor, you could wipe your hand across the walls of the hotel and watch the water run back down to fill in the area you had just cleared of moisture.) and we all rushed to our air conditioned rooms and refused to come out for the rest of the night. I passed out after about an hour and slept like a freaking baby! Jeremy, sadly, froze his ass off and had to keep wrapping himself around the human furnace laying next to him. The next morning he looked at the thermostat in the room, which read 60° and pretty much shrieked out in horror. Frankly, I don’t know what he was complaining about. That was the perfect temperature as far as I was concerned :).

The next morning I walked out onto our balcony to check out the view and was greeted with this.

Nice view eh?!

We met the family downstairs, ate breakfast, and headed off to what would be our standard activity for our stay on the island. Snorkeling!

I pretty much lived in the sea as much as possible. Swimming while pregnant, is awesome. I was like the human cork! I could float around for hours. And it was so hot that once you got out, you only had to stand around for about five minutes before you were completely dry again.

Our days basically consisted of eating what we think was meat (not sure…Jeremy has actually been having intenstinal issues since we got back and fears he may have picked up a tapeworm. Sweet.), snorkeling or diving, and playing shuffleboard.

And every night there were these spectacular lightening storms out over the sea. It was breathtaking!

The family went diving along these coral reefs around the island. They discovered that it was mating season for the coral and came back with tales of scraping long, stringy white “sperm curd” from their goggles. Sick. I was not aware that Bukaki (do not look that up) was one of the features of SCUBA. Wait…maybe SCUBA stands for Sperm Curd Underwater Breathing Apparatus.

My family also decided to become trapeze artists! This looked like so much fun but, for obvious reasons, I was unable to participate.

It was awesome to pretty much do nothing of importance, other than the wedding and watching the large, ninety-year old women walk around topless, for the entire time that we were there.

On Friday, we decided to pile all of us into a taxi and head into Willemstead, the main tourist town on the island.

It was kind of ghetto and dirty, but the buildings were so charming and colorful that it made up for it.

We walked around the streets for about an hour, until I couldn’t stand the heat and had to take my ring of under boob sweat (I bet that turns you on, doesn’t it) to sit in the shade with a large bottle of water.

When we returned we parted ways to get ready for the bachelor/bachelorette party taking place that evening. It was a riot, filled with food, dancing,

and the tossing of innocent people into the surrounding pools.

In an attempt to push my dad into the pool, my sister, Jenn, was pulled in as well. She came up sputtering and laughing, all the while yelling that her shoes were “Fuckin’ snakeskin!”

The next day was my sister’s wedding. She looked absolutely beautiful!

They were married in a cute little gazebo by the sea. It was so much fun to take pictures of the event!

The evening was wrapped up with more dancing and laughter.

All in all an excellent day!

After that the days just passed with hours spent in either the pool or the sea. We had to catch the shuttle back to the airport, again, at 5:30 on Tuesday morning. This time it was Jeremy and I, Karey’s friends, Sam and Scott, and David. Or so we thought…David didn’t make the bus. We all thought that we misheard him and he was actually on the next day’s flight. Yeah….not so. We found out later, that he should have been on the same flight with us and that it cost him another shitload of money because he had to stay an extra week on the island until another flight was available. Not the most accessible place. AND! If he missed that flight, he would be stuck on the island until DECEMBER!! HAHAHA! I’m sorry. That blows, but it is still fucking hilarious!

Anyways, sorry for the long ass post. If you would like to see the remaining pictures from the trip, just click on the various links below. I miss being there with all my family, but it is nice to come back to my own home.



Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

The Wedding

7 Responses

  1. I don’t have the words to express my outright jealousy. It all looks lovely. And I’m with you on the 60 degree room, btw.

  2. Boob sweat is the hottest thing to a guy.

    Okay, so maybe not the hottest thing, but its up there on the list.

    Seems like you had a great time! Glad to have you back, though.

  3. Have to say when you posted the teaser, I was hoping for a little more on the 90 year old titty topic… but all in all that sounds like more fun than you could’ve legally had at a wedding here in UT. Beautiful pictures! 🙂 Welcome home.

  4. Well, except for the humidity and the sweaty boob ring, it sounds just fantastic. Seeing that water makes me very jealous, indeed. The wedding looked like a blast, and your photos are wonderful.

  5. Hey! Nice to hear of the trip. And I had NO idea that coral mated…sperm curd…wow…
    Lovely pictures and a much deserved vacation I am sure. Glad you enjoyed the ocean. Oh and the boob sweating!

  6. Holy f’ing shit, your new header is sooooo awesome!!! Sister Jen = gave a smurf a blowjob? Please explain

  7. LilSass: Hahaha! It took me a second to realize what the fuck you were talking about. That would be the result of the type of liquor they had been drinking at the time. Called Curacao Blue or something prosaic like that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: