Sus’s Superfluous Strangeness

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? No. But I have blown a Nintendo cartridge.

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? 3 years.

Ever been in a car wreck? I hit my mother in law’s house with the car. Does that count?

Were you popular in high school? Hahahahaha. Was I popular? WAS I POPULAR?!!! Yeah. That would be a no. Far from it.

Have you ever been on a blind date? Sadly yes. It sucked giant donkey balls.

Are looks important? I hate to sound shallow, but, yes. Looks are definitely important.

Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?? Why yes I do!

By what age would you like to be married? 27. Yeah, 27 is a good age. Hey look at that! I totally pulled it off!

Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them? Not really. I will think they are a dirty dirty whore no matter what.

Have you ever made a mistake? No. I have neber made a mistake. Ah fuck. Never mind.

Are you a good tipper? I think so. But I guess that all depends if the recipient was a good server.

What’s the most you have spent for a haircut? Fifty American dollars.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nope. Can’t say that I have.

Have you ever peed in public? Everyday of my life.

What song do you want played at your funeral? No Leaf Clover – Metallica (from the S&M Album)

Would you tell your parents if you were gay? Absolutely. And I hope they would do the same for me.

What would your last meal be before getting executed? The executor’s head.

Beatles or Stones? They are both good in my mind.

If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who? That one dude over there. No; not him. The other one.

Beer, wine or hard liquor? What are three things that I no longer partake of?

Do you have any phobias? Yes. I fear being fearful of things.

What are your plans for the future? To go back there. All I need is a BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

Do you walk around the house naked? All the time.

If you were an animal what would you be?


You Are a Pig


You are very intelligent, and you enjoy being around people. You can trust others easily.
You have great reasoning skills, and you are quick learner. You are able to adapt to most situations.

You tend to be very territorial and picky. You don’t like people messing with your stuff.
You have keen senses and reflexes. You can defend yourself well and quickly sense danger.

Would you rather be blind or deaf? I would like to be deaf AND blind in the left ear and eye. That way, every approach from that side is like a sneak attack and I would have an excuse to hone my ninja like powers!

Do you have any special talents? Besides having ninja like powers?

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? Open the fridge, realize we have no food that interests me, close the fridge.

Do you like horror or comedy? A little of column A, little of column B.

If you weren’t straight, what person of the same sex would you do? Oh lord, where to begin?!

Where do you want to live when you are old? With Jeremy, in our home.

Who is the person you can count on the most? Jeremy, of course.

If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be? Davey Havok or Selma Blair.

What did you dream last night? That I was in labor.

What is your favorite sport to watch? I don’t watch sports.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? It was a toss up between a Vodka Collins and a Long Island Iced Tea. But it has been over a decade since I have had alcohol of any kind.

Non alcoholic drink? Lately, it’s been milk. But I also love Diet Dr. Pepper and Mocha Frappacinos from Starbucks.

Have you ever been in love? Most definitely.

Do you sing in the shower? Nope. Can’t say that I do.

Have you ever been arrested? Not yet. I’m working on it.

Would you ever get plastic surgery? I would and I have.

Have you ever caught a fish? Almost. But a beaver came and took it right off my hook!

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4 Responses

  1. You’ve blown a Nintendo cartridge? You skank!

    Also, I’m with you on the funeral music. That is one of the best songs I’ve ever heard.

  2. Props on No Leaf Clover! I might still this to post because I don’t know what else to write.

  3. Yeah, I might have to copy and paste, too. I’m way too tired to think of anything other than bed.

    Are you supposed to lick a CD? Does it get the scratches off or something?

  4. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? No, but I ran it under scalding hot water. That didn’t work either. Actually it didn’t work anymore after that…

    What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? 20 years. Dr Bill. Crazy Fuck!

    Ever been in a car wreck? I have hit a parked car before, but no damage was done.

    Were you popular in high school? Uh, no. I knew all the popular kids, but I had better things to do than even go to school. It’s called the bar!

    Have you ever been on a blind date? Does an internet date count. We met up at Brighton, I paid for myself and then left me on the ski slopes because I didn’t ski as fast as him. THAT DEFINITELY COUNTS!

    Are looks important? Hell yes. I can’t date someone ugly. Our family is too pretty to do a thing like that.

    Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more? A bunch. And they’re amazing too!

    By what age would you like to be married? Marriage. Why? Can’t I live happily ever after with my boyfriend of 65 years???

    Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them? I hope not because then I am a filthy filthy whore!!!

    Have you ever made a mistake? Oh yes. But I am getting better at admitting them.

    Are you a good tipper? Yes. They need money too. But if they give shitty service then they get a shitty tip. Moral of the story…DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE!

    What’s the most you have spent for a haircut? I can’t remember the last time I paid for a haircut. Gay friends are the best!

    Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? No.

    Have you ever peed in public? During Mardi Gras in New Orleans trying to catch beads from Harry Connick Jr. (He looked at me when I yelled his name!!! It was awesome.)

    What song do you want played at your funeral? If you’re cremated does the service happen around the urn my ashes are in? Creepy…play whatever you freakin’ want then! Preferably a big, cheesey, Gay anthem…Robert Benda would know which one!

    Would you tell your parents if you were gay? Absolutely. Uh, Mom, Dad…I’ve been meaning to tell you something…

    What would your last meal be before getting executed? I just want a big ‘ole drink. No, 20 big ‘ole drinks.

    Beatles or Stones? I prefer Butterflies and Moss.

    If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who? The guy that screams at you to buy Oxy Clean. What is his problem?

    Beer, wine or hard liquor? YUM YUM YUM

    Do you have any phobias? Hair. Fucking sick.

    What are your plans for the future? To live abroad, speak French, eat cheese and drink wine with my lover, Dieter Stanko.

    Do you walk around the house naked? Everyday. With the blinds open.

    If you were an animal what would you be? Jelly fish. So I can sting people right where it counts when they pee in the ocean.

    Would you rather be blind or deaf? I want a monkey that is deaf and blind and poops in his hand and throws it at people.

    Do you have any special talents? Double jointed hips. Woo Hoo

    What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? Flip on the lights and dance in front of the mirror.

    Do you like horror or comedy? Horror by myself in my house and comedy ALL the time.

    If you weren’t straight, what person of the same sex would you do? All kinds of bitches.

    Where do you want to live when you are old? With Dieter and close to my family.

    Who is the person you can count on the most? Karey Barrera

    If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be? Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick. They could have a Jenn sandwich!

    What did you dream last night? Can’t remember.

    What is your favorite sport to watch? Football

    What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Wine or a Vodka Tonic extra Lime, Please!

    Non alcoholic drink? H2O or non-fat Latte

    Have you ever been in love? Yes. It’s overrated!

    Do you sing in the shower? No, whistle.

    Have you ever been arrested? Yes. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

    Would you ever get plastic surgery? No. What for? Getting old is awesome and beautiful.

    Have you ever caught a fish? No I haven’t. I need to change that. Anyone want to go fishing later?

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