A Little Home For Our Baby

So the little man has not made his debut, yet. But, when he does, we are ready! My family came up this weekend and helped Jeremy and me to complete the nursery. Oh man, it turned out so fucking cute, I can HARDLY STAND IT!! I can’t thank everyone, enough, for all of their help.

It was actually a two day project. Jeremy helped me plan out and get the measurements, etc. to stripe the wall, and to figure out how much paint we would need. So when my mom and my sister, Karey, arrived all we had to do was hit the Home Depot and we were on our way. It didn’t take to long to select the colors, since I was using a little inspiration.

After picking up the supplies, and a little breakfast at Einstein’s, we headed back to the house to start the painting.

Karey did all the cutting in around the ceiling, windows, doors, and baseboards.

The part that took the longest time was measuring out, taping off, and painting the stripes.

I am just relieved that it turned out so well, because, WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS!!

My mom rolled the first coat of paint. The next morning, Jeremy rolled on the second coat of paint, before he headed up to the golf course.

My family came up, again, that afternoon. This time my mom and Karey were joined by my dad, my brother, Pete, my nephew, Rily, and Karey’s husband, Henry. The boys enjoyed a little HD Football, while the girls assembled and set up the furniture. At one point, Jeremy came up and requested that he take my place so that I could replenish the chocolate chip cookies.

When the cookies were done, I went back up to help them put the bedding on the crib and to set everything in its proper place.


My mom helped to organize the closet with all his little tiny clothes.

And, OF COURSE, we had to hang up the banner that Annie made for his baby shower.

And with a few final touches…

…we were done!

I love it! All I need now is a rocking chair and a little shelf to keep his books.

Bacon! Beautiful Bacon! We’ll Hold Your Blanket High!

This is for all you bacon lovers out there. Look at the sweet sweet pigness that you can find at Archie McPhee.

Bacon Floss

Bacon Strip Bandages

Bacon Wallet

Bacon Mints

And for the holidays…

Bacon Gift Wrap!

Is there anything that bacon can’t do?!

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

So although I am not due for another 11 days (holy fuck, really? 11 days!), the doctor said Rocket can show up anytime. She believes he will likely come a week early, which would put it sometime this coming week. So who knows, there may be a picture of the little guy here, soon!

Jeremy and I took a tour of the hospital where the big event will be taking place. It’s a brand new facility and it is HUGE!

The funny thing is that the only time I have really felt nervous or anxious about the whole birthing process was on this tour. I think seeing the hospital beds and all the machines and whatnot finally drove home the fact that I was going to be pushing a watermelon out of my nether regions. I know that this is what God or whomever intended when he made women, but I have just one (or maybe six) question. Why?! Why did you have to make the opening so small? Aren’t you omniscient? Shouldn’t you have had a bit more foresight on the one, sparky?! Anyways, I just kept squeezing Jer’s hand tighter, and reminding myself to breath. Everything will be fine. This isn’t a first for any of the medical staff that will be involved. It will all be okay.

While on the tour, they took us past the nursery. Jer just chuckled at me, because I was completely enraptured with all the tiny babies. He says to me, “You just want one of these so bad, don’t you?” To which I replied, “No. I don’t want one of these. I want this one,” pointing to my belly.

My mom and sister are coming up, tomorrow, to help paint and set up the nursery. I am really looking forward to getting everything into its place and out of the livingroom. (Oh dear me, am I starting to nest? Quick, someone start gathering a fuck load of sticks!) It will be so nice to have his clothes put away, and his changing table all set up for his first little shit. I just want to create a little home for him.

My mom is so funny. Every time I call she asks if I am still pregnant. As if I would wait a few days or even hours before telling her that Rocket had been born. She says she checks her phone all the time to see if she has missed any calls from me.

One time I called her and said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I were calling you to tell you I was in labor?!”

Mom: “ARE YOU?!!”

Me: ” No.”

Mom: “Go to hell.”

That is love, my friends.

My official last day of work is a week from today. But if I haven’t had the little gipper by then, and I am still feeling as well as I have been, I will just keep coming to work. Sort of on a day by day basis. They aren’t expecting me to, it’s totally my decision if I want to be there or not. They have been so helpful and accommodating through this entire pregnancy and with the situation afterwards of letting me work from home. This Monday they are throwing me a little farewell party, and are shutting down the entire office at 3PM so that we can play Guitar Hero World Tour!!! I am so excited!! Despite the occasional complaints of boredom, this really has been the best job I have ever had.

Sassy Mama Was Right.

It IS hard to get people to come out from their hiding places. I have had 65 views on my blog today and only six, that’s right SIX, people have commented. And everyone of them are people who have already come out to play. What is the deal? What’s with all the shyness? Help a girl out, eh?

Ollie Ollie Oxen Free

OK so I know the actual phrase when conceding to those not found in a game of Hide and Seek is, “All Ye, All Ye, All Come Free,” but as I child I thought it was the said title of this post. Don’t ask me what oxen have to do with hide and seek. I have no idea.

It is time for all you people who visit this site, but never comment, to step forth and reveal your secret identities. I will make this easy for you, in case some of you haven’t commented because you don’t know what to say. I am giving you five easy questions to respond to.

1. Do you have a blog? If so, what is it?

2. How did you come upon this lovely collection of posts?

3. Name one movie, book, or song, that you would recommend based on the things you have read here.

4. Who’s your daddy?

5. What is your favorite post, from this blog, so far?

Please do not be shy. No one will bite, here. I love hearing from all my readers. It makes me happy that you read my crazy drivel.

Please post your answers in the comments.

(If you are a regular commenter, feel free to answer these, as well, if you would like.)

My Friend and I Have the BEST Conversations

The name of said friend has been removed since the opening line of the email is a bit on the personal side.

To: Sus
From: Friend
Subject: It Burns!!!

Friend We are still on for tonight for sure, but I have a UTI. It sucks. I think I got it from having to use stupid condoms!

Me UGH! That is awful. I am still good for tonight. Unless your cooter catches on fire!

Friend If it does, you can put it out with a gush. LOL Eeeeeewwwwwww!

Me Hahahah sick. Then people will be like, “Why does it smell like hot amniotic fluid and burnt hair?!”

Friend And finally we would have a whole place to ourselves!

Me BBWWWWWAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAH! But then again, would we really want to hang out in the stench of charred curlies and placenta puddles?

Friend Yeah, we would just hold fresh cups of coffee under our noses.

Me Oh yes of course. BRILLIANT!


Pronunciation: ’ā-tē • ’tü • ’fif-tē

8.jpg Days left until my “last day” of work!

2.jpg Weeks EXACTLY until Rocket’s due date. Can you believe it?! Where the hell did the time go?

5.jpg Number of days my right hand has had the “pins and needles” sensation. I read that some women can develop carpal tunnel syndrome during pregnancy. I think I may be one of the lucky winners. Awesome. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, so I will ask about it then. Let’s hope it’s just some sort of fluke.

0.jpg Amount of time I should really be spending typing this up. But fuck it. I can’t concentrate with all this random crap floating around my head, so I might as well get it out, right?!

Your Gorgeous, Baby. Simply Gorgeous!

Just a few silly photos taken with Zen Goddess’s webcam. Let’s just hope that Rocket takes after his father in the looks department.

Dear lord, I look like Dan Marino and Kaa’s love child.

If I were to ever have a bobble head doll made of myself, this is definitely the picture I would submit as reference.

The tiny pointed head helps to take the focus up and away from the ENORMOUS CHEST!

Can you say “Up the Down Steriod“?!

What Are the Chances?!

I am not one for believing in this kind of mumbo jumbo, but look at the fortunes that Jeremy and I got with our food today.



How funny is that!

Everday Life – T Shirt

Just bought this for Rocket. I think this says “First Day of Kindergarten” all over it!