Sus’s Superfluous Strangeness

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work? No. But I have blown a Nintendo cartridge.

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated? 3 years.

Ever been in a car wreck? I hit my mother in law’s house with the car. Does that count?

Were you popular in high school? Hahahahaha. Was I popular? WAS I POPULAR?!!! Yeah. That would be a no. Far from it.

Have you ever been on a blind date? Sadly yes. It sucked giant donkey balls.

Are looks important? I hate to sound shallow, but, yes. Looks are definitely important.

Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?? Why yes I do!

By what age would you like to be married? 27. Yeah, 27 is a good age. Hey look at that! I totally pulled it off!

Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them? Not really. I will think they are a dirty dirty whore no matter what.

Have you ever made a mistake? No. I have neber made a mistake. Ah fuck. Never mind.

Are you a good tipper? I think so. But I guess that all depends if the recipient was a good server.

What’s the most you have spent for a haircut? Fifty American dollars.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nope. Can’t say that I have.

Have you ever peed in public? Everyday of my life.

What song do you want played at your funeral? No Leaf Clover – Metallica (from the S&M Album)

Would you tell your parents if you were gay? Absolutely. And I hope they would do the same for me.

What would your last meal be before getting executed? The executor’s head.

Beatles or Stones? They are both good in my mind.

If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who? That one dude over there. No; not him. The other one.

Beer, wine or hard liquor? What are three things that I no longer partake of?

Do you have any phobias? Yes. I fear being fearful of things.

What are your plans for the future? To go back there. All I need is a BOLT OF LIGHTNING!

Do you walk around the house naked? All the time.

If you were an animal what would you be?


You Are a Pig


You are very intelligent, and you enjoy being around people. You can trust others easily.
You have great reasoning skills, and you are quick learner. You are able to adapt to most situations.

You tend to be very territorial and picky. You don’t like people messing with your stuff.
You have keen senses and reflexes. You can defend yourself well and quickly sense danger.

Would you rather be blind or deaf? I would like to be deaf AND blind in the left ear and eye. That way, every approach from that side is like a sneak attack and I would have an excuse to hone my ninja like powers!

Do you have any special talents? Besides having ninja like powers?

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house? Open the fridge, realize we have no food that interests me, close the fridge.

Do you like horror or comedy? A little of column A, little of column B.

If you weren’t straight, what person of the same sex would you do? Oh lord, where to begin?!

Where do you want to live when you are old? With Jeremy, in our home.

Who is the person you can count on the most? Jeremy, of course.

If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be? Davey Havok or Selma Blair.

What did you dream last night? That I was in labor.

What is your favorite sport to watch? I don’t watch sports.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink? It was a toss up between a Vodka Collins and a Long Island Iced Tea. But it has been over a decade since I have had alcohol of any kind.

Non alcoholic drink? Lately, it’s been milk. But I also love Diet Dr. Pepper and Mocha Frappacinos from Starbucks.

Have you ever been in love? Most definitely.

Do you sing in the shower? Nope. Can’t say that I do.

Have you ever been arrested? Not yet. I’m working on it.

Would you ever get plastic surgery? I would and I have.

Have you ever caught a fish? Almost. But a beaver came and took it right off my hook!

8250

Pronunciation: ’ā-tē • ’tü • ’fif-tē

8.jpg Days (from yesterday) until my due date!

2.jpg Number of hours spent playing Guitar Hero World Tour at work, yesterday. SO AWESOME!

5.jpg Days until my various Disneyland specials will be recorded. Oh glorious Travel Channel, how I have missed you!

0.jpg Amount of feeling yet to return to my hand. Sweet.

Everyday Life – Check Out My Sweet Coveralls!

Mmmm. Tastes like pea green soup.

A Little Home For Our Baby

So the little man has not made his debut, yet. But, when he does, we are ready! My family came up this weekend and helped Jeremy and me to complete the nursery. Oh man, it turned out so fucking cute, I can HARDLY STAND IT!! I can’t thank everyone, enough, for all of their help.

It was actually a two day project. Jeremy helped me plan out and get the measurements, etc. to stripe the wall, and to figure out how much paint we would need. So when my mom and my sister, Karey, arrived all we had to do was hit the Home Depot and we were on our way. It didn’t take to long to select the colors, since I was using a little inspiration.

After picking up the supplies, and a little breakfast at Einstein’s, we headed back to the house to start the painting.

Karey did all the cutting in around the ceiling, windows, doors, and baseboards.

The part that took the longest time was measuring out, taping off, and painting the stripes.

I am just relieved that it turned out so well, because, WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS!!

My mom rolled the first coat of paint. The next morning, Jeremy rolled on the second coat of paint, before he headed up to the golf course.

My family came up, again, that afternoon. This time my mom and Karey were joined by my dad, my brother, Pete, my nephew, Rily, and Karey’s husband, Henry. The boys enjoyed a little HD Football, while the girls assembled and set up the furniture. At one point, Jeremy came up and requested that he take my place so that I could replenish the chocolate chip cookies.

When the cookies were done, I went back up to help them put the bedding on the crib and to set everything in its proper place.

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My mom helped to organize the closet with all his little tiny clothes.

And, OF COURSE, we had to hang up the banner that Annie made for his baby shower.

And with a few final touches…

…we were done!

I love it! All I need now is a rocking chair and a little shelf to keep his books.

Bacon! Beautiful Bacon! We’ll Hold Your Blanket High!

This is for all you bacon lovers out there. Look at the sweet sweet pigness that you can find at Archie McPhee.

Bacon Floss

Bacon Strip Bandages

Bacon Wallet

Bacon Mints

And for the holidays…

Bacon Gift Wrap!

Is there anything that bacon can’t do?!

Tick Tock, Tick Tock

So although I am not due for another 11 days (holy fuck, really? 11 days!), the doctor said Rocket can show up anytime. She believes he will likely come a week early, which would put it sometime this coming week. So who knows, there may be a picture of the little guy here, soon!

Jeremy and I took a tour of the hospital where the big event will be taking place. It’s a brand new facility and it is HUGE!

The funny thing is that the only time I have really felt nervous or anxious about the whole birthing process was on this tour. I think seeing the hospital beds and all the machines and whatnot finally drove home the fact that I was going to be pushing a watermelon out of my nether regions. I know that this is what God or whomever intended when he made women, but I have just one (or maybe six) question. Why?! Why did you have to make the opening so small? Aren’t you omniscient? Shouldn’t you have had a bit more foresight on the one, sparky?! Anyways, I just kept squeezing Jer’s hand tighter, and reminding myself to breath. Everything will be fine. This isn’t a first for any of the medical staff that will be involved. It will all be okay.

While on the tour, they took us past the nursery. Jer just chuckled at me, because I was completely enraptured with all the tiny babies. He says to me, “You just want one of these so bad, don’t you?” To which I replied, “No. I don’t want one of these. I want this one,” pointing to my belly.

My mom and sister are coming up, tomorrow, to help paint and set up the nursery. I am really looking forward to getting everything into its place and out of the livingroom. (Oh dear me, am I starting to nest? Quick, someone start gathering a fuck load of sticks!) It will be so nice to have his clothes put away, and his changing table all set up for his first little shit. I just want to create a little home for him.

My mom is so funny. Every time I call she asks if I am still pregnant. As if I would wait a few days or even hours before telling her that Rocket had been born. She says she checks her phone all the time to see if she has missed any calls from me.

One time I called her and said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if I were calling you to tell you I was in labor?!”

Mom: “ARE YOU?!!”

Me: ” No.”

Mom: “Go to hell.”

That is love, my friends.

My official last day of work is a week from today. But if I haven’t had the little gipper by then, and I am still feeling as well as I have been, I will just keep coming to work. Sort of on a day by day basis. They aren’t expecting me to, it’s totally my decision if I want to be there or not. They have been so helpful and accommodating through this entire pregnancy and with the situation afterwards of letting me work from home. This Monday they are throwing me a little farewell party, and are shutting down the entire office at 3PM so that we can play Guitar Hero World Tour!!! I am so excited!! Despite the occasional complaints of boredom, this really has been the best job I have ever had.

Sassy Mama Was Right.

It IS hard to get people to come out from their hiding places. I have had 65 views on my blog today and only six, that’s right SIX, people have commented. And everyone of them are people who have already come out to play. What is the deal? What’s with all the shyness? Help a girl out, eh?