Remember Me? It’s Sus. The Girl Who Was Raised By Sailors?

I can’t even remember the last time I actually wrote a post here. Yeah, I know I have been posting…but just photos. Nothing with any substance or vast amounts of swear words. Which we all know are the love of my life.

Life with Rocket has been everything like I thought it would be and nothing like I thought it would be. I just marvel at this amazing little boy and think, “Who is God’s name decided that I got to be your mom, and where do I send the nude photos in thanks?” I still can’t believe we are parents. It seems so surreal. Trying to imagine what life was like without him is getting harder and harder. It’s like there was no life before him and it has only been three weeks.

THREE WEEKS! Holy fuck. Where does the time go? Pretty soon I will be saying things to him like, “What did your learn in kindergarten, today?” And, “Don’t say ‘cocksucker’ in front of your grandmother, young man!”

This is definitely an improvement from the sadness I was feeling a few weeks back. And I guess that is the real reason I haven’t been writing. Although it may seem that I put just about anything out there on this blog, I have a hard time really opening up when I am having a really hard time. I guess I just feel ashamed sometimes and don’t want people to know that I have these moments of weakness. I want to be the strong, confident woman and mother who can handle it all. I know this is silly. I know all of you would be more than willing to lend an open ear, heart, hug, whatever. And for that I can’t thank you enough. Lil Sass, your email brought so much joy to my heart. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

Here are some of the latest discoveries about Rocket that endear him more and more to my heart everyday.

  • He laughs in his sleep. Full on cracks himself up! He has been doing this since he was about 6 days old.
  • It takes two diapers to change him. One, so that he can shit in the freshest of fresh diapers as only his majesty will do. And the other one to change him into after the first one has been officially soiled.
  • When he just wants to be cuddled, he has this cry that sounds like the Count. I always say things like “Two! Two pieces of confetti!” just before that part of the cry.

I am learning more about myself, everyday, as well. I am thrilled when I get to sleep for a stretch of four hours at night. Who knew that one day this would feel like a luxury?! I have been peed on more times than I can count and I haven’t been grossed out in the least. And he when puked right down the front of my shirt, I just laughed, kissed him, and then puked on him so we were even.

Totally kidding!

I still owe him a good five or six pukes.

Anyways, I hope to get back into writing more. It is good for the soul and, frankly, I miss you guys. Until next time…

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7 Responses

  1. Oh! The little nursy chapped lip! I remember that!

  2. Oh sweetness, you are so very welcome. I am glad you’re hangin’ in there and taking it one day at a time. I guess that’s all you can do at this point!

  3. um, were you really raised by sailors???
    It sucks when you are having a hard time and you hear it’s normal, but yet you don’t feel normal and it just sucks.
    Being a parent is the most amazing ride of your life and nothing is ever the same. Ever, ever, ever.
    Hang in…it’s worth it. Puke or not.
    When lil moonspun was about a week old, I’ll never forget changing her diaper. She was on the bed and saw her little butthole moving and instead of covering it., like the new parents we were, LEANED forward to look, not realizing what was really happening. And of course got POOP on us. I was grateful to be wearing glasses!

  4. He is such a cute little boy. And those new mommy feelings bring back such fond memories for me. This time in your life can be heaven and hell all at the same time, but you come out the other end with much stronger feelings for the heavenly bits. Enjoy him! Smell him often. Kiss him more. And put him down as little possible.

    Heather

  5. I would definately have puked back. I can’t help it.

  6. I see more of Jeremy in him now. He looks a lot like you but I can definitely see Jeremy now too. A good mix of the two of you!

  7. I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better. It really does take a while. Thankfully, I grew up raising my nephews and was prepared to duck and cover, so I didn’t get puked on or peed on or pooped on very often.

    One time when my husband was holding my son up in the air and yapping at him, the boy puked, and it went right in my husband’s mouth. I pissed my pants laughing!!!

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