Seven Hours of Pure Heaven

I would like to announce that, for the past two nights, Rocket has slept all the way through the night. (Cue massive choir of angels. HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH!) I had forgotten how incredible seven straight hours sleep can be. Shit. Forget incredible. It is down right fucking MAGICAL! I don’t know if it’s this cycle we have him on, or the nighttime tubbies…

… but whatever it is, it is working. And he is eating like a champion. Today he ate for 30 minutes, straight. I couldn’t believe it! He must be going through some sort of growth spurt. He is getting SO BIG!! He is already wearing 3 – 6 month clothing.

Remember his kick ass bear suit? Yeah. No chance I am getting him into that now. The suit would be more likely to sit up and give me the finger.

As much as I want it to stop, I have to admit that I love seeing him reach new milestones. Although it is really all him, I get a sense of accomplishment. Like I am really doing alright at this whole parenting thing. Parent. That word still blows my mind. I’m not a parent. Shit. I’m just a kid. For Pete sakes, I still laugh at farts!

Still, nothing is more satisfying than walking into the room and having your child smile and coo at you in recognition. Melts my heart EVERY TIME! I just can’t get enough.

And the discoveries! Like his foot! Fascinating to this kid.

You can just see in his face that he is trying to take it all in. So focused at alert. It’s amazing to watch him grow and learn.

Look at me ramblin’ on like the proud parent that I am. But can you blame me? Rocket kicks some serious ass!

Spransy Quote of the Day

Ok so not really so much a quote…but still worthy of the title.

Yesterday, I received this email from my sister, Jenn (aka Jennifer Jennifer Crotch Crotch). Have I mentioned how much I love my family?!

So yesterday I was making breakfast and Dieter was reading the news headlines…he said “10 killed in a Turkish Avalanche”. Now, I know this shouldn’t be funny, but I started giggling. I said “that sounds like a sexual term.” So what did we do…??? We made it one! We also had falafels yesterday in its honor!!!
Turkish Avalanche

Take a look at the name!
I love you all.

Spread this like wild fire!

Everyday Life – Oh For The LOVE of All That Is Midget!

Nothing it better than knowing that my blog was found by these four little words:

“three nippled ginger midget”



Pronunciation: ’ā-tē • ’tü • ’fif-tē

8.jpg Days until Rocket’s 2 month follow up. Time to see if he is a healthy, growing boy!

2.jpg Total BLOW OUTS that Rocket has had today. They were so nasty I almost took a photo to post. Almost. Really it was just for the entertainment and grossing out of LilSass :).

5.jpg Months until Jeremy’s birthday. He’s going to be 35! Better start planning the festivities!!

0.jpg Amount of time I can continue putting off the purchase of Slurpee goodness. I can wait NO MORE!

A Little of Column A, Little of Column B

  • This was the busiest work day I have had in ages. Add a baby to the mix and you could say I am feeling quite frazzled!
  • Remember Fraggle Rock? Wasn’t that show awesome?!
  • Rocket HATES tummy time. Just look. And for the record, he pulled that little gesture on his own. He is truly my kid.
  • Speaking of Rocket, check out his new cap! He’s worried about how he will be able to handle the hoards of adoring women.
  • Sometimes when I am changing Ollie’s diaper, I make up songs to the tune of Little Bunny Foo Foo. For example:
    Little stinky doo doo
    You just let a poo poo
    Now there’s fecal matter
    All over your little butt!
  • I have a gift card to Barnes and Noble, and I can’t decide what book/books I should purchase. Any suggestions?

Everyday Life – Sydney

This is my cousin, Britney’s, daughter. She is 9 months old, and I got to meet her for the first time on Monday. I don’t know about you, but I would have a hard time not constantly chewing on those cheeks!!

It’s the “I Can’t Think of Anything Else to Write” Survey of the Day!

# Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
“The whole place looked as if the inspiration had been to spend a couple hundred thousand on the interior without looking pretentious, although that is no great sum for a thirteen-room co-op, of course. . . Imagine explaining all that to the Black Panthers.”

# Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
Jeremy’s office chair, the scanner/fax machine, my cd case of saved photographs, my filing tray, and your mom’s titties.

# Before you started this survey, what were you doing?
Responding to an email.

# What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Challenge on the Food Network. I am addicted to that channel.

# With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Rocket’s baby monitor, the clock ticking, and your shocked gasp as you read that I can reach your mom’s titties.

# When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
About 3 hours ago. I was heading out to lunch with Rocket.

# When did you last laugh?
Last night. I was hanging out with my family, so it was inevitable!

# Do you remember why / at what?
The randomness that is my family would take far too long to convey. But if you want a sampling, just read the Spransy Quote of the Day.

# What is on the walls of the room you are in?
A whiteboard calendar and a clock.

# Seen anything weird lately?
Just your mom’s titties.

# What is the last film you saw?
Most recently released film was “Twilight” which sucked ass. Last movie, in general, that I watched was “Mary Poppins” which kicks ass.

# If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Anywhere that is near to my family.

# If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A house for each of my friends and family. Oh and a boob job for your mom’s titties.

# Tell me something about you that most people don’t know.
I go into semi-shock if I injure my hands in any way.

# Do you like to dance?
I like the night life. I like to boogie.

# Would you ever consider living abroad?

# Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
Chained Sundials
Launches Disdain
A Danish Includes

# Who made the last incoming call on your phone?

# What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Alexi Murdoch – Time Without Consequence

# Last time you swam in a pool?
September in Curacao

# Type of music you like most?
Hmmm….in general I would probably say rock music.

# Type of music you dislike most?
Country. Gag.

# Are you listening to music right now?
Yes. Little Girls – Robert Francis.

# What color is your bedroom carpet?
I think it’s called Faun or something lame like that. It’s a light beige color.

# If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
I would expand the kitchen a little so there is more space around the island.

# What was the last thing you bought?
Panties…RRRRAOOOORR. (I said that word just to gross out LilSass..although that really is what I purchased.)

# Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?
Can’t say that I have.

# Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
It is highly unlikely as I have a great fear of falling. Not really conducive to either activity.

# Do you have a garden?
I have a newborn. What do you think?

# Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Of course. Don’t you, you commie?

# What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
It used to be “Ok. What the fuck am I going to wear today?” Now it’s, “Time to feed Rocket.”

# If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
It would have been Madeleine Kahn. But she’s dead.

# Who sent the last text message you received?
My sister, Karey.

# Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Barnes and Noble.

# What time is bed time?
Whenever I feel like it. I’m the adult here.

# Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Fuck no. Although I am sure I would totally win the congeniality portion of the competition.

# How many tattoos do you have?
Up to and including no tattoos.

# What did you do for your last birthday?
Jeremy threw me a birthday dinner with a bunch of my friends.

# Do you carry a donor card?
Sure don’t. But I do think my organs are up for donation at the time of my death. Don’t recall.

# Who was the last person you ate dinner with?
My immediate and extended family.

# What’s the farthest-away place you’ve been?

# When’s the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
The last time I had a craving for something that tasted like ass.

# Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes. I won a little trophy for “The Craziest Hula Hooper,” when I was ten.

# Are you a good cook?
People tell me they like my cooking, so I guess so?

# Do you know how to pump your own gas?
I know how to pump your mom’s gas. I don’t even know what that means.

# If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?
Maya Angelou

# Do you touch-type?
I’m the type that will talk about touching your mom’s titties.

# What’s under your bed?

# What time do you get up?
Between 6:45 and 7:30AM

# What was the name of your first pet?

# Who is the second to last person to call you?
My boss.

# Is there anything going on this weekend?
Yes! We are going to dinner at my friend, Amber’s, new house!!

# How are you feeling right now?
Guilty…for flaunting the tittie touching so much. I know you are jealous. Admit it.

# What do you think about the most?
Besides touching your mom’s titties?

# What time do you get up in the morning?
We already talked about this. YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!

# What do you do most when you are bored?
Eat candy or spend money. Sad but true.

# How many keys on your key ring?

# Where would you retire to?
Santa Barbara

# What kind of car do you drive?
Honda Accord

# What are your best physical features?
I have no idea.

# If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
Disneyland. It’s sad, but true. I could say Paris, but that would just be a lie.

# What kind of books do you like to read?
The kind with words.

# Where did you grow up?

# How far away from your birthplace do you live now?
613 miles

# What are you reading now?
Parenting with Love and Logic
Here, There Be Dragons
The Year of Living Biblically: One Man’s Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible

# Are you a morning person or a night owl?
With a new baby, you kinda have to be both.