Where Does the Time Go?

It seems this year is over just as quickly as it began. Jeremy and I have experienced a huge change in our life, as you all know. And although it has taken us ten months to get where we are, it feels as though it all happened in the blink of an eye.

In January (and for years before, honestly) Jeremy and I talked about expanding our family. I went back and forth on the matter for what seems like the longest time, brooding about whether this was the right thing to do. How would this affect our relationship? Am I really ready to be a parent? What if we decide to do this and it turns out to be the wrong decision? What if we decide NOT to do this and it turns out to be the wrong decision? If I had to, which kind of regret could I live with, more?

Being 30, I knew the “clock” was ticking, but that didn’t make the decision any easier by any means. I knew what the stakes were. I knew that we would be taking on the biggest challenge of our lives.

Finally, the decision was made for me to stop taking the pill. We decided that we weren’t going to tell anyone about our decision to try to get pregnant. We didn’t want the added pressure that we knew would come, since people were of the belief that we were not having children.

We also decided to not make a huge production out of it. We would do what was necessary to get pregnant (yeah buddy!) and just see what happened. I didn’t want to take fertility drugs or calendar the days I was ovulating. I felt if it was meant to be that it would happen went it was supposed to. If after a year or so of trying, we hadn’t had any luck, then we would start considering additional help.

So at the end of February, after ten years of pill popping, I threw my last pack of birth control in the trash. Eight hours later I was pregnant. Literally. Do the math. It appeared that NOW was the time for us to have a child.

We continued to keep things a secret until I was almost 4 months along. We wanted to wait until we were past the time where a miscarriage could be a possibility. We had seen too many friends have to go through the experience of having to tell people that their good news, was no longer true. I didn’t want to have to go through with that, myself. So for months we lied to people when they hounded us about how we needed to have children, how we would make such great parents. It was really fun to keep telling them to forget it, not happening, all the while knowing that I was pregnant.

One evening in May we invited my parents and brother and sister, Pete and Karey, to meet us for dinner. After we had been seated, Jeremy and I presented my parents with a photo book consisting of family photos I had taken over the last year. They flipped through the photos, completely oblivious to what they were about to see. (It is a good thing they were paying more attention to the book than to me, as I could hardly contain my excitement. I, seriously, have no idea how I managed to not say anything for four months.)

Finally, they turned to the last page of the book to see this:

My dad, in confusion, asks, “Who’s this?” To which Jeremy replies, “We don’t know, yet.” Realizing what this means, my dad busts into joyous laughter, exclaiming, “Are you kidding?!” My mom, still looking at the photo on the other page, looks over to see what we are talking about. She instantly shrieks, and throws her hands to her face, the tears instantly flowing on our faces.

The rest, for those of you who have been regular visitors to this blog, is history. It has been such a pleasure to share this experience with all of you. I have been so touched with all of the new friends I have made here. I never imagined that simply writing about my life would lead to such incredible people. Thank you for allowing me to open myself up to you and for opening up a portion of your life to me.

I look forward to many more years of our friendship.

Happy 2009!

8 Responses

  1. Sus! Wow, what a great story! I didn’t know any of that and what a wonderful way to tell your parents. I am sure that’s a story that Rocket will love to hear later, too.
    I bet it was hard for your to stay quiet for four months. But I can definitely see why you’d want to.
    I think FFO and I waited 3. Of course we stunned people because we were two women and only a couple friends knew we wanted kids. But that is its own story.
    Congratualtions again! I am so glad that your journey lead you to a blog! I really enjoy being a faithful reader.

  2. What a great post, girl! You guys approached it much the same way as we did, and it worked out.

    Happy 2009 and forward! The years start to fly now. The days are long, but the years are short. Enjoy.

  3. Yeah, that’s pretty much the best way I think to go about telling people about anything surprising. Lead ’em on for a while, and then smack ’em in the face with it.

    I’m glad you had a great 2008. Rocket will be sure to make 2009 an adventure.

  4. I think y’all’s story is brilliant. Just briefly de-lurking to say that I’ve been reading for a couple of months now, and that the way you guys approached starting a family is probably the same way I’d go about it, if that day were to ever come. Fantastically written, and such a cool way to tell the parentals as well. Here’s to a fantastical 2009. 🙂 xx

  5. what an absolutely fabulous way to tell the grandparents!! I bet they loved their surprise!!

  6. That is an awesome way to tell your parents that you are pregnant. I was only 21 when I found out I was pregnant, and even though I was married, I was afraid my mom would be mad (cause I hadn’t finished school), so I called her at work and told her since technically she couldn’t kill me though the phone.

  7. Oh and by school I mean college…which I have now finished, two kids and 5 years later…

  8. This is a great post and I’m so glad you made the decision you did! I know Rocket’s gonna kick ass

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