In Which I Scrub the Carpet

Today was our typical Sunday. Jeremy played golf with clients. Rocket and I played out in the beautiful sunshine, reading books and playing with various tupperware containers. When it became too toasty, and I worried about the little man getting too much sun, we moved inside and Rocket spent the next little while hanging out, contentedly, in his jumper.

Shortly after, Jer returned from the golf course, smiling as he looked upon our little guy. Bending down he comments, “Ew. Did he poo?”

“Probably,” I replied. “He was making the face, I need to change him.”

It is then that something odd caught my eye. A strange coloring underneath Rocket’s jumper. What is causing that? I wonder. Is that a reflection?

Oh no.

Oh dear god.

Rocket wasn’t just filling his shorts…he was overflowing them.

Underneath his jumper was a huge puddle of shit…that he had been JUMPING IN, unbeknownst to me.

It was all down the back of his leg, all over his feet, and in between his toes. It was AWFUL!!

After I stripped him down and bathed him, I headed off to the store to purchase some matches carpet cleaner to remove to vile stain. On my way, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She LAUGHED HER ASS OFF, and then proceeded to tell me how to get it out of the carpet with baking soda.

“Are you speaking from experience?” I ask her.


So I turned back around to try the home remedy of baking soda shit remover. It took a good twenty minutes of scrubbing, and two rolls of paper towels, but I finally got the carpet clean.

According to my mom, I am officially a mom.

I guess that time when I shoved a kid out my vagina didn’t count.

Things and Stuff and Stuff and Things

I know a lot of you have asked what happened with my job, and I have not replied back to you. Sorry about that. I will. I am just waiting for a few things to settle down with that before I can let loose on what is going on. But let me just give you a little nugget…I am/was pissed!! How is that for a teaser?! Anyways, I will write about it at some point.

But for now, it has been strange being without a job. I have held a job, in some capacity or another, since I was about 11 years old. I almost don’t know what to do with myself. And on the other hand I know exactly what I should do with myself, but have to really push myself to do it. And even then I feel like I come up short. It’s strange. I feel excited for the opportunity to get some things done, and yet, incredibly unmotivated to do them all at the same time. It’s been an awkward transition, that is for sure, and I need to get my shit together.

I also keep thinking about all the people I have been neglecting. LilSass, I am so sorry I haven’t been writing very often. I think of you all the time. Miss Grace, I still owe you a CD from the April CD Exchange and can’t believe I have been such a slacker on that. I love the CD you sent, by the way. Thank you! I still read all of your blogs (Badass, Lola, Moonspun, X, Heather, and on and on.), and I am sorry I haven’t been commenting as much as I used to. I guess I just needed a breather.

My business is coming along slowly but surely. It is very much in the planning stages, at this point. I have been trying to figure out how to write a business plan and how I want to organize my business. It has been incredibly challenging. I worry that I just don’t have the mentality and demeanor it takes to run a business and I get very overwhelmed. I just need to keep reading and learning and maybe it won’t feel like so much after a while. I worry, too, that I won’t follow through with this. I have to admit that I am alot of “talk”, at times, and very little “do.” Which is stupid. Nothing is stopping me from doing any of the things I have talked about doing. I just need to get out of my own damn way!

The one thing I really want to do is to start documenting Ollie’s first year in a more hands on fashion. I need to keep a better record of his “firsts.” Like the fact that he has his first tooth! Bottom center; so cute!! And that he is rolling over in both directions (front to back, back to front), finally! And how he has grown two inches in the past two months (the kid is part weed, I swear!) Oh and on top of that he has figured out how to wave hello and goodbye to us.

There are just so many things I love about our little boy.

I love the way his head is a miniature version of Jeremy’s.

I love the way he sucks on his ENTIRE binkie.

I love that he is CONSTANTLY pulling this face.

I love the way he looks you square in the eye and pulls this face when he is taking a huge dump. (And I love, even more, that it is the exact same face that Jeremy pulls when he is acting like he is taking a huge dump.)

I love that he looks just like his daddy when he has on his sunglasses.

I love that he now prefers to sleep on his stomach and that he sleeps with his left leg pulled up higher than the right, just like I do.

I love that he is starting to understand what it means when I hold up the camera and now starts to ham it up!

I love this.

My favorite thing of all, though, is the way he growls like a little monster when he is cuddling with his stuffed animals. Jeremy and I would always make growling noises when we would tickle him or “wrestle” with him, and I love that now he does that himself. Hilarious!! His little face get so serious and scrunched up, like he’s the scariest little monster on the planet.

I would be terrified of the sheer mass of cuteness heading my way. It’s JUST TOO MUCH!!!