In Which I Scrub the Carpet

Today was our typical Sunday. Jeremy played golf with clients. Rocket and I played out in the beautiful sunshine, reading books and playing with various tupperware containers. When it became too toasty, and I worried about the little man getting too much sun, we moved inside and Rocket spent the next little while hanging out, contentedly, in his jumper.

Shortly after, Jer returned from the golf course, smiling as he looked upon our little guy. Bending down he comments, “Ew. Did he poo?”

“Probably,” I replied. “He was making the face, I need to change him.”

It is then that something odd caught my eye. A strange coloring underneath Rocket’s jumper. What is causing that? I wonder. Is that a reflection?

Oh no.

Oh dear god.

Rocket wasn’t just filling his shorts…he was overflowing them.

Underneath his jumper was a huge puddle of shit…that he had been JUMPING IN, unbeknownst to me.

It was all down the back of his leg, all over his feet, and in between his toes. It was AWFUL!!

After I stripped him down and bathed him, I headed off to the store to purchase some matches carpet cleaner to remove to vile stain. On my way, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She LAUGHED HER ASS OFF, and then proceeded to tell me how to get it out of the carpet with baking soda.

“Are you speaking from experience?” I ask her.

“Uh..yeah.”

So I turned back around to try the home remedy of baking soda shit remover. It took a good twenty minutes of scrubbing, and two rolls of paper towels, but I finally got the carpet clean.

According to my mom, I am officially a mom.

I guess that time when I shoved a kid out my vagina didn’t count.

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4 Responses

  1. Sounds like a crappy end to the day, if you ask me.

  2. Yea, I’d have to agree with your mom, that’s one heck of a shit pile on the carpet…nice pic!
    When lil moonspun was a baby, FFO and I were changing her diaper and we noticed her butt moving kind of funny. Now instead of moving back, we were curious and we both leaned forward wondering what was happening. Duh. The explosive poop that came out got all over us. I was very thankful I had glasses on otherwise it would have gotten in my eye.
    We knew how silly we’d been and we just laughed so hard while cleaning all the poop up!

  3. HA! Poor you!!! My kid did the same thing in his jumpy thing, only it was on the hardwoods and the dogs were already on clean-up duty by the time I paid attention to the poor kid. You need a dog, girl…

  4. Anybody can push a kid out their vajayjay. It takes someone special to clean up your shit. Haha.

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