Spransy Quote of the Weekend – Portland Style

This weekend Jeremy, my parent’s, and I went to Portland. These are some of the choice things heard during that trip.

*Said while driving into the parking lot of our hotel*
Mom: Get out of the way, dickhead.

Dad: Sir, your head looks like a dick.

*Said while on the way to The Grotto, The National Sanctuary of Our Sorrowful Mother*
Mom: This sanctuary better be serene or I’m going to be fucking pissed.

*Said while relating a past banana split experience*
Dad: I ordered a banana split once, and when I reached the end I realized there was no freaking banana! When I told the waitress she said, ‘Do you want me to bring you a banana?’ No! You can take that banana and shove it up your banana shove space!

*Said after Jer expressed concern over setting the dirty stroller wheels on my mom’s sweater*
Dad: It wouldn’t be the first time my dirty wheels have been on that sweater.

*Said in defense of his earlier comments*
Dad: I don’t say things that are dirty, I make innuendos. I just follow it up by saying I don’t know what that means.

Me: Right, because that makes it ok.

Dad: Hey, “dirty wheels” isn’t dirty.

Me: It is when you say it.

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4 Responses

  1. My favorite is the one about the shrine…that’s awesome

  2. hanging out with your family would be awesome….dirty old man innuendos and all

  3. I love Portland.

  4. Haha, I was driving and some chick talking on her cellphone cut me off and I called her a sucker of cocks. My daughter was amused, but I probably shouldn’t have said it in front of her. Ooops.

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