Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile) Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’.

The other day while having coffee with my dear friends, Rachel and Dawni, we got on the topic of the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Now while I have never been a fan of this show, I had to admit that I am totally stoked that the Karate Kid himself is going to be in this season’s cast!

I have this fantasy playing out in my mind that I can only hope happens on the show.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Sweep the leg, Kirstie.
Kirstie Alley: But I’ll be disqualified!
Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Out of commission!

This inspired me to do a post about all the cheesy “Tiger Beat-esque” posters my sister and I had on our bedroom walls when we were kids.

Of course there was cutie patootie, Ralph!

My sister, Karey, had this poster (and it was huge!) hanging over her bed. She may kill me for saying this, but I seem to remember her kissing it goodnight on a few occasions. Bwaaahhahaha! (Don’t worry, I am sure she will find a way to get me back for that.)

Or I could just do it for her, by showing you was an enormous fucking dork I was as a kid. It’s no wonder I didn’t kiss anyone until I was eighteen.

Yes. It’s true. While I may come across as the cool, hip, progressive thinking mom, underneath it all I have been hiding the dirty secret of once having a rainbow laden unicorn poster on my wall. Mumma Boo, you may have to wait on that answer about the hippo shit story. There is only so much shame one can share in such a short amount of time.

Although, I do think the fact that Tom and Kelly (we’re on a first name basis) were hanging next to it, may have evened things out a bit. Sort of like nerd-cancellation.

Next up we have the token Don Johnson, wearing all white, standing in the ocean poster. I can name very few girls, ranging in age from 10 -14 in the 1980’s, that didn’t have this poster on their wall.

It’s nice to know that mothers around the world were allowing their young, impressionable girls to almost glance Don’s Johnson. You totally looked at his penis, just now, didn’t you?

Then there was good o’ Kirk Cameron. Sigh…

One time when my other sister, Jenn, and I knew Karey was bringing a boy to the house, we went and stuck super maxi pads all over the eyes of her posters. Hahaha! Oh the crazy things you do as a kid! We had rebel written all over us!

Now every time I see him I hear “He’s got Super Kotex eyes!” a la
Kim Carnes in my mind.

And last but definitely not least, my favorite, Captain EO. We’re sending out, a major love.

I went to Disneyland this last August with my husband and two girlfriends (Right on! Foursome! What’s up Annie and Amber!) and we saw this when we were there. Holy shit. It was lame. I loved it!

Kind of makes me wonder what sort of things Rocket will put up on his walls when he gets older. Can’t wait to find out!

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5 Responses

  1. Bwah hah hah. I had a colony of rainbow unicorn posters and Horse Illustrated “centerfolds” when I was 13 or so. My mom couldn’t stand them. A year later my walls were covered with Ralph Macchio and Sean Astin (!?!) posters. Mom: [glumly] “I liked the horse posters better.”

    I secretly watched Top Gun and was enamored with it but I never had a poster. It would NOT have been on the approved selection list in my family. My parents made us turn 16 Candles off a few minutes in because there was a nekkid breasts shot. We were a bunch of teenage girls for cripes sakes!!! Did they think we’d be corrupted by looking at boobs?!? Geez, my parents were weird. 🙂

  2. Yea, you don’t strike me as the unicorn rainbow type. Wow, I’d never seen that Don Johnson poster before…he’s like nekkid under it!

  3. Oh my goodness…I had so many of these posters. And I still do that Karate Kid pose…only now my toddlers just fall to the floor laughing and want me to “Do ‘gain, Mommy!”

  4. Holla! Disneyland, foursomes, and Captain EO. It was epic. I miss you and I am excited that you are blogging again!

  5. What? I have to wait for that story? What if I bribe you by telling you I had posters of Rick Springfield and Shaun Cassidy EVERYWHERE in my room?

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