Junior and Q: Take 13

Junior: I am totally dancing in my chair right now! Hahahaha. So suck it!

Q: Well me, too.

Junior: Good!

Q: And I can dance how ever the fuck I want because I have no beat to hold me back. So you suck it.

Junior: Whoa! Goin’ solo, huh!? No beat!? I’m not ready.

Q: It’s a big step, but I think you can do it.

Junior: Not without a tempo! I CANT DO IT! (said totally out of step)

Q: Want to dance it 4/4 and then drop it down to 2/4? It’s ok. You can do it. If the Jerk can learn to dance, so can you!

Junior: So true! I am black people too!

Q: You are also black people? How many?

Junior: Many many black people. Shi…..

Junior and Q: Take 12

Junior: Freaky picture!

Q: Do you know what that is from?

Junior: Watcher in the Woods.

Q: Yeah!! I am going to have a Halloween party and we are going to watch that. Want to come?!

Junior: Sure. Although, I may react adversely to the movie. I may shit my pants.

Q: Me too .

Junior: Oh, then perfect. I will be there.

Jr and Q: Take 11

I am leaving you with a post from the lovely and eloquent Jr and Q (A.K.A: my brother and me, for those of you not down with hipness of my blog.) I shall return with glorious tales of sandy beaches and 13 hour flights! Until next week:

This conversation took place during an intense round of Scrabulous.

Junior: Your turn.

Q: The boss is out of the office, which you would think would make playing this easier. But now everyone and their damn dog keeps walking through here. Get the fuck out!

Junior: Assholes.

Q: Seriously.

Junior: Your turn.

Q: So what are you doing in between turns? Are you chatting with someone else behind my back!

Junior: No, I was checking my email, looking for funny stuff on YouTube. That sort of thing.

Q: Well you could always type in “hot tub poo” into the search for a classic.

Junior: Hahahaha, that is very true.

Q: Your turn.

Junior: I win! I win!

Q: What?! Fuck off, really? Son of a bitch. New game. I can’t even tell you how much this helps to make the day go by faster.

Junior: You are kicking my asss.

Q: So much so that it took an extra “s.”

Junior: Yesss. Your turn againg.

Q: Well shit, no wonder you are losing. In English, please! You are typing like you have a cold. Ooh, good word.

Junior: Thanks. I am not doin’ so hot this time.

Um no. And my last word was pretty sweet, too.

Junior: Back in the game.

Q: Oh man! Only one space away from killing me!

Junior: I know!!!

Q: Wow; this board is getting awfully shitty to work with.

Junior: Yes. This one is going to be close!

Q: The suspense is killing me!

Junior: Calm down!

Q: My letters suck ass. I V L K N P B. So you know. . . I have options.

Junior: Hahahaha, oh sweet!

Q: Woo hoo. I could play one letter! Effin’ A!

Junior: And it was an effin’ K

Q: Hahahaha. I know! Damn it; you are totally going to win.

Junior: You suck. That is where I was gonna go! I don’t think I can go anymore.

Q: Good!

Junior: I doubt you can either!

Q: Don’t you worry. I will fuckin’ figure it out.

Junior: Pretty sure we are both stuck.

Q: No way! NEVER SAY DIE! NEVER SURRENDER. . . or vise versa. Whatever the fuck he says.

Junior: By Grapthar’s hammer, it’s over!

Junior: 307
Q: 279

Junior and Q: Take 10

Q: Fucking finally!

Junior: Fuckin, I know!

Q: I have been bored out of my mind . Having trouble connecting today?

Junior: No, I just got up and got in the shower.

Q: Wooooo hooooo. You suck giant penguin dick.

Junior: Which are still just about the normal size, when ya think about it.

Q: Hmm, that is true. Do they even have dicks?

Junior: Not sure.

Q: So then I guess you don’t suck.

Junior: Ok.

Junior and Q: Take 9

Junior: I am trying to finish a stupid ass mother fucking god damn bitch of a journal entry for my Japanese class.

Wow! I didn’t think I could use all the bad words in one sentence and have it make sense!

Pretty good huh!?

Q: Nice! Pulitzer Prize for Profanity, if you ask me!

Junior and Q: Take 8

Junior: A friend of mine brought over his roommate, this Korean girl, to game night last night. She was fucking HOT!

Q: What was her name?

Junior: Chang.

Q: Cute.

Junior: Or Chung.

Q: Hahaha!

Junior: Something like that.

Q: Or Ching Chang Wing Wang Wong.

Junior: Or Ching Chang Bang Mi.

Q: Everybody wang Chung tonight! . . . or whatever her name is…

Junior: Hahahahahahahah; that is awesome!!!

Junior and Q: Take 7

Junior: Shit. Now I am deaf!

Q: Why?

Junior: I was listening to this Japanese news broadcast and had turned up the volume so I could hear it. Then, when I was done, I switched over to iTunes and blew the shit out of my ear holes.

Q: Hahahaha! You idiot.

Junior: Shit up.

Q: You shit up.

Junior: No! You!

Q: Right up your ass crack, you motha!

Junior: But only if I can wipe this upward shit from my crack!

Watch him defy gravity and shit UP his own ass!

Q: Um. . . it’s not really an act of defiance. Babies do it all the time. They manage to shit all over their own backs, leaving their asses fresh and clean.

It’s an act of SHHHEEER POWER!

Junior: Maybe the babies are just defying their mothers!

Q: Oh true. Good point.

Junior: Ever think of that!?

I’ll show you, bitch! Bring me into this world and I am gonna shit all over everything, BUT my own ass!

Q: Do you think the work defy is derived from the word Defecate?

Junior: I think you are on to something!

Junior and Q: Take 6

This installment of Jr and Q is dedicated to Lil Sass of Don’t Get Me Started. Brought to you by the letters F and U and the number 69

Junior: The re re wasn’t prepared, so I told her to stick it.

Q: Who?

Junior: I was supposed to help this girl prepare for her test next week, but she hadn’t done anything herself. So I told her to try it first and then I would help her.

Q: That is so lame. What did she think? You were just going to do it for her? Some people’s retarded children.

Junior: That’s why mongoloids shouldn’t breed!

Q: You would think that would make them funkier, being down and all. Shi’…

Junior: Wrong kind of “down.”

Q: Ooh oops.

Junior: Besides, they would probably not get excited enough unless they had some yarn, or a popsicle, or some shit like that. And the last thing you want is a ‘tard with a toy fetish!







Q: Those re re’s…always droppin’ the toast bomb.

Junior and Q: Take 5

Junior: How was golfing?

Q: The whole thing is a fucking free for all.

Junior: Hahahahaha really?

Q: They don’t make tee times. If the tee box is open and you are ready, you just go.

Junior: I would think women would like balls flying all over the place.

Q: Haha

Junior: Oh, that isn’t what you meant.

Q: No.

Junior: That would certainly make it more interesting, though!

Q: Totally. Could you imagine?! You are trying to putt and suddenly, THWACK, a big hairy nutsack comes slapping onto the green.

Junior: Hahahahahaha, that is so gross.

Q: What if someone picked it up and started using it as their ball marker! There’s a pun in there somewhere!

Junior: I don’t think you can use a “nutsack” as a marker.

Q: Their putting would be dead nuts on!

Junior: Otherwise, guys would be whippin it out all the time!

Q: Only if their sack was detachable or really long and it rolls out of their pants like a party favor.

Junior and Q: Take 4

Junior: There is this girl sitting across from me in the foyer, here, and she laughs just like that weezing sort of, come on spit it out you Mofo, kind of laugh. It’s really bugging me.

Q: Go pound her on the back and say, “Oh sorry. . . I thought you were choking.” And then hit her again and say, “Just makin’ sure.”

Junior: Maybe swipe my finger across the inside of her throat? “JUST WANT TO BE ABSOLUTELY SURE!!”