Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile) Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’.

The other day while having coffee with my dear friends, Rachel and Dawni, we got on the topic of the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Now while I have never been a fan of this show, I had to admit that I am totally stoked that the Karate Kid himself is going to be in this season’s cast!

I have this fantasy playing out in my mind that I can only hope happens on the show.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Sweep the leg, Kirstie.
Kirstie Alley: But I’ll be disqualified!
Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Out of commission!

This inspired me to do a post about all the cheesy “Tiger Beat-esque” posters my sister and I had on our bedroom walls when we were kids.

Of course there was cutie patootie, Ralph!

My sister, Karey, had this poster (and it was huge!) hanging over her bed. She may kill me for saying this, but I seem to remember her kissing it goodnight on a few occasions. Bwaaahhahaha! (Don’t worry, I am sure she will find a way to get me back for that.)

Or I could just do it for her, by showing you was an enormous fucking dork I was as a kid. It’s no wonder I didn’t kiss anyone until I was eighteen.

Yes. It’s true. While I may come across as the cool, hip, progressive thinking mom, underneath it all I have been hiding the dirty secret of once having a rainbow laden unicorn poster on my wall. Mumma Boo, you may have to wait on that answer about the hippo shit story. There is only so much shame one can share in such a short amount of time.

Although, I do think the fact that Tom and Kelly (we’re on a first name basis) were hanging next to it, may have evened things out a bit. Sort of like nerd-cancellation.

Next up we have the token Don Johnson, wearing all white, standing in the ocean poster. I can name very few girls, ranging in age from 10 -14 in the 1980’s, that didn’t have this poster on their wall.

It’s nice to know that mothers around the world were allowing their young, impressionable girls to almost glance Don’s Johnson. You totally looked at his penis, just now, didn’t you?

Then there was good o’ Kirk Cameron. Sigh…

One time when my other sister, Jenn, and I knew Karey was bringing a boy to the house, we went and stuck super maxi pads all over the eyes of her posters. Hahaha! Oh the crazy things you do as a kid! We had rebel written all over us!

Now every time I see him I hear “He’s got Super Kotex eyes!” a la
Kim Carnes in my mind.

And last but definitely not least, my favorite, Captain EO. We’re sending out, a major love.

I went to Disneyland this last August with my husband and two girlfriends (Right on! Foursome! What’s up Annie and Amber!) and we saw this when we were there. Holy shit. It was lame. I loved it!

Kind of makes me wonder what sort of things Rocket will put up on his walls when he gets older. Can’t wait to find out!

Because You Don’t Already Know Enough About Me

81 Things You Didn’t Know About Me Until You Read This:

What Color Is Your Toothbrush?
Blue and Green

Name One Person That Made You Smile Today?
Mr. Oliver Poopface Rocket Butt Man

What were you doing this morning at 8?
Attempting to tidy up the house.

What Were You Doing 45 Minutes Ago?
Dishes and feeding Ollie lunch.

What Is Your Favorite Candy?
Sixlets.

Have You Ever Been To A Strip Club?
Yep.

What’s the last thing you said out loud?
“I can make a pizza.”

What Was The Last Thing You Had To Drink?
Ocean Spray 100% Juice Fruit & Veggie Tropical Citrus

What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without Sleeping?
I think maybe a day.

Have You Ever Made A Promise You’d Die To Keep?
I guess so. Does promising to keep Oliver safe count?

Have You Bought Any New Clothing Items This Week?
Nope.

The Last Sporting Event You Watched?
Jeremy’s qualifying round for the Utah State Amateur Golf Championship in 2008.

What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Popcorn?
Kettle Corn

Who Is The Last Person You Sent A Message to on Facebook?
Heather

Ever Go Camping?
Yes I do! In fact we have several camping trips planned for this summer.

Do You Take Vitamins Daily?
Does a handful of chocolate chips count?

Do You Go To Church Every Sunday?
I haven’t been to church, regularly, in a very long time. I go for things to do with family and friends. And I love to attend Vespers and the Carol Ceremony at the local catholic cathedral during the holidays.

Do You Drink Your Soda With A Straw?
In a restaurant, yes. From a can or in a glass from my own home, no.

What Did Your Last Text Message Say?
Ha ha.

What Are You Doing Tomorrow?
Probably just hanging out at home. Who knows? I tend to play it by ear when it come to planning my days.

Where Is Your Dad?
Probably hitting balls during his lunch hour.

Look To Your Left, What Do you see?
My aforementioned drink and Ollie’s rocking horse.

What Color Is Your Watch?
I don’t wear a watch.

What Do You Think Of When You Hear Australia?
I would really like to go there, someday.

What did you do yesterday?
Laundry, went for a walk with Ollie, read my book, enjoyed the nice weather.

Do You Go In At A Fast Food Place Or Just Hit The Drive Thru?
Depends on what fast food place, if Ollie is awake or not, and how much time I have.

What Is Your Favorite Number?
8250, of course.

Who’s The Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?
My sister, Karey.

Any Plans Today?
Birthday dinner for my brother, Pete. His birthday is tomorrow! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEEWEEE!!!

Biggest Annoyance In Your Life Right Now?
Uh….

Last Song Listened To?
“I Need You,” by America.

Can You Say The Alphabet Backwards?
Sure can. I am also teaching it to Oliver in both directions.

Do You Have A Maid Service Clean Your House?
Yes. I also have a private jet that flies me to Rodeo Drive to go shopping every week.

Favorite Pair Of Shoes You Wear All The Time?
No, but I have been wearing a lot of flats, lately.

Are You Jealous Of Anyone?
No.

Is Anyone Jealous Of You?
I wouldn’t know.

Do You Love Anyone?
Absolutely.

What Do You Usually Do During The Day?
Play with Ollie, run errands, meet friends for coffee, attempt to clean the house, watch TV, etc.

Do You Hate Anyone That You Know Right Now?
I don’t know if hate is the word I would use.

Do You Use The Word ‘hello’ Daily?
Yep.

Do You Like Cats?
I liked our family cat, Willie. All other cats are disposable.

Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
Yes, Magic Mountain, about twenty years ago.

How Did You Get Your Worst Scar?
Surgery.

Last Cd Played?
Spoon – Ga Ga Ga Ga

Last Bubble Bath?
A decade ago? I don’t know.

Last Time You Cried?
A week ago? I don’t know. I don’t keep track of those kinds of things.

Last Meal?
Totino’s Supreme Party Pizza.

Have You Ever Kissed Someone & Regretted It?
No.

Have You Ever Fallen In Love?
Yes

Have You Ever Lost Someone?
Yes, but that is life.

Have You Ever Slept Until 1pm?
Never. I have always been an early riser.

List Four People You Tell Pretty Much Anything To?
Jeremy, Karey, Jenn, and Heather.

List Three Favorite Colors/shades —
Red, Orange, Yellow.

Laughed Until You Cried:
Last night. That Chelsea Handler is one funny bitch.

Who Posted This Before You?
My cousin, Britney.

Lowering The Drinking Age?
I don’t see the point.

Is There Something You Want To Tell Someone?
“I don’t know how you can be that funny without enhancement creams.”

Would You Kiss Anyone On Your Top Friends?
No.

How Many Kids Do You Want To Have?
Uno.

Do You Want To Change Your Name?
No, I like my name.

Last Time You Saw Your Father?
Saturday afternoon.

What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
6:30AM

How Old Are You?
Old enough.

What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night?
Sleeping.

What Is Your Favorite Thing In Your Room?
I don’t know that I would call any thing “a favorite.” I do like the pictures we have hung.

Where Is Your Best Friend Right Now?
Working.

Listography: Songs I Have Played In Talent Shows

Oh lord. Some of these are so dorky, it cracks me up! I used to play the piano all the time in school and church talent shows. Then one day my nerves got the best of me, and I’ve hated it ever since. (Playing in public, not playing the piano. Still love that.) Not sure what happened.

Long Long Ago
I Just Can’t Stop Loving You – Michael Jackson (Yeah, suck on that!)
The Greatest Love of All – Whitney Housten
All of Me – John Schmidt
The Heart Asks Pleasure First- The Piano
Big My Secret – The Piano
Le Petit Negre – Claude Debussy
Coventry Carol – Kurt Bestor
Anne’s Theme – Anne of Green Gables
Prelude in C Sharp Minor Op.3 No.2 – Rachmaninov

Listography: Television Shows I am Currently Hooked On

Listography: Musical Acts I Have Seen Live

Not sure what is up with the musical theme on these lists, but whatever. Here goes…in no particular order.

  • Nine Inch Nails
  • Violent Femmes
  • Deftones
  • Quicksand
  • Snapcase
  • Snot
  • (hed)P.E.
  • Soulfly
  • Alanis Morrisette
  • The Jets (HAHA!! No shit. It was my very first concert. I was nine.)
  • Janet Jackson
  • Dave Matthews
  • Nancy Griffith
  • Sevendust
  • John Mayer
  • Linkin Park
  • Tony Furtado
  • Rod Stewart
  • Fiona Apple
  • Tori Amos
  • Eddie Money
  • A.F.I.

8250

Pronunciation: ’ā-tē • ’tü • ’fif-tē

8.jpg Months until Rocket turns two! HOLY SHIT BALLS!

2.jpg Number of weeks I have left to finish up my gifts! I best get crackin’!

5.jpg Number of words that Rocket can say. They are: car, big truck, shoes, uh oh, and yeash (a la Michael Scott).

0.jpg Amount of love I have for my hair right now. Seriously, it’s like a big crazy mop. I need a haircut somethin’ fierce. I was thinking of doing something like this. What do you think?

I Have a Goal with an Actual End in Sight

It’s about 13 miles long.

Yeah, that’s right. I agreed to run in a half marathon, with my sister Karey, in June. Don’t ask me what the hell I was thinking when I agreed to this. I currently am able to run up to and including no miles, nonstop. Pathetic I know, especially considering that I am not overweight. I am just lazy.

There. I said it. Happy?!

Well, maybe lazy isn’t the right word. I would just rather enjoy the relaxing stretch of Marichyasana I, than a jog around the block. Or anything that causes my now water wing shaped bewbs (thanks Ollie!) to bounce around. However, I think that this challenge will be just the fire I need under my ass to get motivated with my life. I can only imagine the wonders it will do for my well being, emotionally and physically.

I start my training program on Monday, so I have four more days before the torture begins. Wish me luck. I will be periodically posting about my progress. We’ll have mini celebrations everytime I reach a new mini goal (2 miles, 5 miles, 7 miles, 10 miles). Maybe there will even be a prize involved. Who know? We’ll see.

All Around Me

Listening to: Wrong (Todd Terry Remix) – Everything But the Girl

Thinking about: Things I need to do:

  • Put away baskets of clean laundry at the end of our bed
  • Find cable to upload photos from camera to my computer
  • Stop thinking about things I could draw in my sketchbook and actually do it
  • Mop the floors
  • Return Rocket’s library books
  • Eat chocolate Exercise
  • Go to post office

Things that I find inspiring at this moment:
100 ideas!
The Thought Project
Jenny Saville
Moleskines

Reading: “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man” – James Joyce and “The Lost Symbol” by Dan Brown.

I Wonder How Long of a Title WordPress Will Allow Me to Create? Hmmm, So Far It Looks Like It Can Be as Long as I Want It to Be. Awesome.

Sorry about that. I was curious to see what I could get away with as far as a post title was concerned. Maybe one time, just for shits and giggles, I will publish my entire post as my title. Yeah. Probably not. But maybe I just might. You never know.

I like to keep you people on your toes.

So.

Why have I been so neglectful of this blog? Several reasons, but the biggest and most important reason is that I have been spending quality time with Rocket. Time is moving at a RAPID pace when it comes to my little guy (Ok, not so little. He has moved right out of babyhood and dived head first into toddler) and I fear that before I know it he will be driving away with his panties in a wad (my husband is yelling in his mind, “BOYS DON’T WEAR PANTIES!!”) because I made him stay home and eat dinner with the family instead of going to the movies with his friends.

Yes, I will be that kind of mom. The mom who wants to instill in her kids that family comes first no matter what. The mom who believes in the importance of family dinners, of spending time together playing games and going on trips (no, I am not talking about week long trips to Disneyland, I am talking about the last minute camping trips to a locale a mere 10 miles from your home or even in your own backyard). The mom who goes to all the parent teacher conferences and knows how her child is doing in school. The mom who yells, “I LOVE YOU!!!” out the car window to her embarrassed teenager in the hopes that, even though he is humiliated, deep down he knows and feels the same way.

My parents did an OUTSTANDING job when it came to instilling these values in their kids. My best friends are my sisters and brother and my parents. My parents were very young when they were married and had all of us. Because of this we basically grew up together (to put it in perspective, my mom and dad are 53, my older sister is 34, I am 32, my brother is 30 and my sister is 29), and this resulted in a closeness that I have never witnessed in any other family. We still get together weekly or more to have dinner or to just hang out. (Well most of us. I hate that my youngest sister, Jenn, lives clear across the US. Do you hear that Jennifer Jennifer Crotch Crotch? Move closer!!)

I don’t know if I have said this on my blog before, but I LOVE being a mom. I love it more than I can say. I love it to the point of heartbreak, if that makes any sense. I find myself brought to tears on many occasions from the joy and miraculous wonder that Oliver is. I gives thanks daily for being blessed with such an incredible little boy.

I have been painting. Not alot, but I have finished four paintings in the past few months.

It’s a start that I am quite proud of and hope to continue. We hung a series of twenty paintings that I did a couple years ago, in our livingroom, and I hope that this will keep me inspired to continue painting.

I have also been working on project Brain Work, although it is not going as quickly as I thought it would. I am a little behind on my schedule to read all those books in three years. I just finished “The Postman Always Rings Twice,” by James M. Cain. It wasn’t bad. I am not really sure why it was in the top 100 books of fiction, and I am pretty sure this won’t be the last time I feel this way. I do think the title was very clever as a way of saying that you will get what’s coming to you.

So next up is “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man,” by James Joyce. Another update to come!

Whatchoo Talkin’ Bout, Meme?

This is the last cop out post, I swear. I know that I need to get back to really posting something of more worth than these silly questionnaires. That will be my goal for this month; to write and least one meaningful thing each week. But for now you will just have to put up with my silliness one more time.

1. How old do you look? I think for the first time in my life I actually look my age, which is 32. And I actually like that. It makes me feel empowered in some strange sort of way.

2. Where do you live? In our lovely Deseret. For those of you not in the know, that is Utah.

3. Are you waiting for something? I am always waiting for something. And do you know what that is? Me. Yep. Just me. I am the only one holding me back. Quite the epiphany, eh?!

4. What’s one pet peeve of yours that is not common? I hate it when people put trash in the sink.

5. Do you want/have kids?
I have a beautiful little boy.

6. Have you ever thought about converting your religion? No. I feel no need to change religions. Instead I think I will just gather insight and knowledge from many religions and use their guidance in my life.

7. Last shocking news you heard? If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.

8. What was the last thing you drank? Silk – Chocolate flavored. Tastes like chocolate pudding. YUM!

9. Who do you most look like in your family? Probably my brother. That’s a weird thing for a girl to say, but it’s true.

Check us out, circa 1982. And yes, those are Underoos that I am sporting.

10. If you could have something right now, anything, what would it be? Peace of mind.

11. Where does most of your family live? Most of my immediate family lives in Utah.

12. Where did you grow up? I grew up in Salt Lake City, but my childhood was pretty evenly dispersed between there and Santa Barbara, CA.

13. Where do you want to go on vacation?
Usually I would say Disneyland, but at the moment I really couldn’t say. Weird.

14. Have you ever had a panic attack? Nope.

15. What can’t you wait for? This is a difficult question to answer. I can’t wait for Ollie to start talking, and yet I don’t want him to grow up too fast. I can’t wait until Ollie come bursting through the front door, excited to tell me what he learned at school that day, and yet I love that he is still learning what a cow says and what a square looks like. I am waiting for my little boy to do big boy things, but I still want him to stay my little monkey. So although I can’t wait, I can.

16. When’s the last time you told someone you loved him or her and meant it? I have never told someone I loved them when I didn’t mean it.

17. Have your parents ever smoked pot? Who knows? Doesn’t matter to me one way or the other.

18. Want someone back in your life? I think so, but I don’t know how to approach the matter.

19. What do you order at the bar? Coke or water. Party animal, I know!

20. When was the last time you cried really, really hard? Um….next…..

21. Ever licked someone’s cheek? I think I may have licked my sisters’ cheeks at some point, but I don’t recall. I hear life isn’t complete until you have been licked by Miss Grace.

22. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Apples, specifically, Jonagold apples.

23. Where were you on July 4th, 2008? Probably Evanston, WY. I don’t recall.

24. What is your nickname? Jimmy Two Boobs

25. If you could go back in time, how far back would you go? Far enough to punch you in the face while writing this question.