Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile) Don’t waste another minute on your cryin’.

The other day while having coffee with my dear friends, Rachel and Dawni, we got on the topic of the new season of Dancing with the Stars. Now while I have never been a fan of this show, I had to admit that I am totally stoked that the Karate Kid himself is going to be in this season’s cast!

I have this fantasy playing out in my mind that I can only hope happens on the show.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Sweep the leg, Kirstie.
Kirstie Alley: But I’ll be disqualified!
Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Out of commission!

This inspired me to do a post about all the cheesy “Tiger Beat-esque” posters my sister and I had on our bedroom walls when we were kids.

Of course there was cutie patootie, Ralph!

My sister, Karey, had this poster (and it was huge!) hanging over her bed. She may kill me for saying this, but I seem to remember her kissing it goodnight on a few occasions. Bwaaahhahaha! (Don’t worry, I am sure she will find a way to get me back for that.)

Or I could just do it for her, by showing you was an enormous fucking dork I was as a kid. It’s no wonder I didn’t kiss anyone until I was eighteen.

Yes. It’s true. While I may come across as the cool, hip, progressive thinking mom, underneath it all I have been hiding the dirty secret of once having a rainbow laden unicorn poster on my wall. Mumma Boo, you may have to wait on that answer about the hippo shit story. There is only so much shame one can share in such a short amount of time.

Although, I do think the fact that Tom and Kelly (we’re on a first name basis) were hanging next to it, may have evened things out a bit. Sort of like nerd-cancellation.

Next up we have the token Don Johnson, wearing all white, standing in the ocean poster. I can name very few girls, ranging in age from 10 -14 in the 1980’s, that didn’t have this poster on their wall.

It’s nice to know that mothers around the world were allowing their young, impressionable girls to almost glance Don’s Johnson. You totally looked at his penis, just now, didn’t you?

Then there was good o’ Kirk Cameron. Sigh…

One time when my other sister, Jenn, and I knew Karey was bringing a boy to the house, we went and stuck super maxi pads all over the eyes of her posters. Hahaha! Oh the crazy things you do as a kid! We had rebel written all over us!

Now every time I see him I hear “He’s got Super Kotex eyes!” a la
Kim Carnes in my mind.

And last but definitely not least, my favorite, Captain EO. We’re sending out, a major love.

I went to Disneyland this last August with my husband and two girlfriends (Right on! Foursome! What’s up Annie and Amber!) and we saw this when we were there. Holy shit. It was lame. I loved it!

Kind of makes me wonder what sort of things Rocket will put up on his walls when he gets older. Can’t wait to find out!

Because You Don’t Already Know Enough About Me

81 Things You Didn’t Know About Me Until You Read This:

What Color Is Your Toothbrush?
Blue and Green

Name One Person That Made You Smile Today?
Mr. Oliver Poopface Rocket Butt Man

What were you doing this morning at 8?
Attempting to tidy up the house.

What Were You Doing 45 Minutes Ago?
Dishes and feeding Ollie lunch.

What Is Your Favorite Candy?
Sixlets.

Have You Ever Been To A Strip Club?
Yep.

What’s the last thing you said out loud?
“I can make a pizza.”

What Was The Last Thing You Had To Drink?
Ocean Spray 100% Juice Fruit & Veggie Tropical Citrus

What Is The Longest You Have Gone Without Sleeping?
I think maybe a day.

Have You Ever Made A Promise You’d Die To Keep?
I guess so. Does promising to keep Oliver safe count?

Have You Bought Any New Clothing Items This Week?
Nope.

The Last Sporting Event You Watched?
Jeremy’s qualifying round for the Utah State Amateur Golf Championship in 2008.

What Is Your Favorite Flavor Of Popcorn?
Kettle Corn

Who Is The Last Person You Sent A Message to on Facebook?
Heather

Ever Go Camping?
Yes I do! In fact we have several camping trips planned for this summer.

Do You Take Vitamins Daily?
Does a handful of chocolate chips count?

Do You Go To Church Every Sunday?
I haven’t been to church, regularly, in a very long time. I go for things to do with family and friends. And I love to attend Vespers and the Carol Ceremony at the local catholic cathedral during the holidays.

Do You Drink Your Soda With A Straw?
In a restaurant, yes. From a can or in a glass from my own home, no.

What Did Your Last Text Message Say?
Ha ha.

What Are You Doing Tomorrow?
Probably just hanging out at home. Who knows? I tend to play it by ear when it come to planning my days.

Where Is Your Dad?
Probably hitting balls during his lunch hour.

Look To Your Left, What Do you see?
My aforementioned drink and Ollie’s rocking horse.

What Color Is Your Watch?
I don’t wear a watch.

What Do You Think Of When You Hear Australia?
I would really like to go there, someday.

What did you do yesterday?
Laundry, went for a walk with Ollie, read my book, enjoyed the nice weather.

Do You Go In At A Fast Food Place Or Just Hit The Drive Thru?
Depends on what fast food place, if Ollie is awake or not, and how much time I have.

What Is Your Favorite Number?
8250, of course.

Who’s The Last Person You Talked To On The Phone?
My sister, Karey.

Any Plans Today?
Birthday dinner for my brother, Pete. His birthday is tomorrow! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PEEWEEE!!!

Biggest Annoyance In Your Life Right Now?
Uh….

Last Song Listened To?
“I Need You,” by America.

Can You Say The Alphabet Backwards?
Sure can. I am also teaching it to Oliver in both directions.

Do You Have A Maid Service Clean Your House?
Yes. I also have a private jet that flies me to Rodeo Drive to go shopping every week.

Favorite Pair Of Shoes You Wear All The Time?
No, but I have been wearing a lot of flats, lately.

Are You Jealous Of Anyone?
No.

Is Anyone Jealous Of You?
I wouldn’t know.

Do You Love Anyone?
Absolutely.

What Do You Usually Do During The Day?
Play with Ollie, run errands, meet friends for coffee, attempt to clean the house, watch TV, etc.

Do You Hate Anyone That You Know Right Now?
I don’t know if hate is the word I would use.

Do You Use The Word ‘hello’ Daily?
Yep.

Do You Like Cats?
I liked our family cat, Willie. All other cats are disposable.

Have You Ever Been To Six Flags?
Yes, Magic Mountain, about twenty years ago.

How Did You Get Your Worst Scar?
Surgery.

Last Cd Played?
Spoon – Ga Ga Ga Ga

Last Bubble Bath?
A decade ago? I don’t know.

Last Time You Cried?
A week ago? I don’t know. I don’t keep track of those kinds of things.

Last Meal?
Totino’s Supreme Party Pizza.

Have You Ever Kissed Someone & Regretted It?
No.

Have You Ever Fallen In Love?
Yes

Have You Ever Lost Someone?
Yes, but that is life.

Have You Ever Slept Until 1pm?
Never. I have always been an early riser.

List Four People You Tell Pretty Much Anything To?
Jeremy, Karey, Jenn, and Heather.

List Three Favorite Colors/shades —
Red, Orange, Yellow.

Laughed Until You Cried:
Last night. That Chelsea Handler is one funny bitch.

Who Posted This Before You?
My cousin, Britney.

Lowering The Drinking Age?
I don’t see the point.

Is There Something You Want To Tell Someone?
“I don’t know how you can be that funny without enhancement creams.”

Would You Kiss Anyone On Your Top Friends?
No.

How Many Kids Do You Want To Have?
Uno.

Do You Want To Change Your Name?
No, I like my name.

Last Time You Saw Your Father?
Saturday afternoon.

What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
6:30AM

How Old Are You?
Old enough.

What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night?
Sleeping.

What Is Your Favorite Thing In Your Room?
I don’t know that I would call any thing “a favorite.” I do like the pictures we have hung.

Where Is Your Best Friend Right Now?
Working.

Listography: Songs I Have Played In Talent Shows

Oh lord. Some of these are so dorky, it cracks me up! I used to play the piano all the time in school and church talent shows. Then one day my nerves got the best of me, and I’ve hated it ever since. (Playing in public, not playing the piano. Still love that.) Not sure what happened.

Long Long Ago
I Just Can’t Stop Loving You – Michael Jackson (Yeah, suck on that!)
The Greatest Love of All – Whitney Housten
All of Me – John Schmidt
The Heart Asks Pleasure First- The Piano
Big My Secret – The Piano
Le Petit Negre – Claude Debussy
Coventry Carol – Kurt Bestor
Anne’s Theme – Anne of Green Gables
Prelude in C Sharp Minor Op.3 No.2 – Rachmaninov

Listography: Television Shows I am Currently Hooked On

Listography: Musical Acts I Have Seen Live

Not sure what is up with the musical theme on these lists, but whatever. Here goes…in no particular order.

  • Nine Inch Nails
  • Violent Femmes
  • Deftones
  • Quicksand
  • Snapcase
  • Snot
  • (hed)P.E.
  • Soulfly
  • Alanis Morrisette
  • The Jets (HAHA!! No shit. It was my very first concert. I was nine.)
  • Janet Jackson
  • Dave Matthews
  • Nancy Griffith
  • Sevendust
  • John Mayer
  • Linkin Park
  • Tony Furtado
  • Rod Stewart
  • Fiona Apple
  • Tori Amos
  • Eddie Money
  • A.F.I.

8250

Pronunciation: ’ā-tē • ’tü • ’fif-tē

8.jpg Months until Rocket turns two! HOLY SHIT BALLS!

2.jpg Number of weeks I have left to finish up my gifts! I best get crackin’!

5.jpg Number of words that Rocket can say. They are: car, big truck, shoes, uh oh, and yeash (a la Michael Scott).

0.jpg Amount of love I have for my hair right now. Seriously, it’s like a big crazy mop. I need a haircut somethin’ fierce. I was thinking of doing something like this. What do you think?

I Have a Goal with an Actual End in Sight

It’s about 13 miles long.

Yeah, that’s right. I agreed to run in a half marathon, with my sister Karey, in June. Don’t ask me what the hell I was thinking when I agreed to this. I currently am able to run up to and including no miles, nonstop. Pathetic I know, especially considering that I am not overweight. I am just lazy.

There. I said it. Happy?!

Well, maybe lazy isn’t the right word. I would just rather enjoy the relaxing stretch of Marichyasana I, than a jog around the block. Or anything that causes my now water wing shaped bewbs (thanks Ollie!) to bounce around. However, I think that this challenge will be just the fire I need under my ass to get motivated with my life. I can only imagine the wonders it will do for my well being, emotionally and physically.

I start my training program on Monday, so I have four more days before the torture begins. Wish me luck. I will be periodically posting about my progress. We’ll have mini celebrations everytime I reach a new mini goal (2 miles, 5 miles, 7 miles, 10 miles). Maybe there will even be a prize involved. Who know? We’ll see.