To Blog or Not to Blog

I have been going back and forth for a long time, now on whether or not I should keep writing here. Does anyone still even read this thing? Would anyone care if I stopped?

I don’t know.

Questioned for Your Pleasure.

Most of you have heard The Great Interview Experiment. If you have not you should pull that large boulder off of your face introduce yourself to this awesome project and go check it out.

I was so excited to find out who I was going to interview. Just guess!! You’ll never guess.

OK.

I’ll tell you.

It’s Meg, from Mind of a Madwoman! How awesome is that?! (I know. I peed myself a little when I got the news.) If you don’t know of this wonderful woman, I pity your lame ass you should go check out her blog right away.

I have decided to proceed with this interview in the fashion of one of my favorite things. The random questionnaire!! So without further ado, I give you the MIND OF A MADWOMAN!!!! (DA DA DAAAAAAA *seriously ominous music at this moment*, but reallly, she’s cool. Don’t be freaked out by the sense of danger that may have occured at that moment.)

1. What was the last album you bought? What did you think of it? Favorite song and why?

Oh geez. I think it was a Kings of Leon album on iTunes. The lead singer’s voice makes me all wobbly and quite honestly ready to take my clothes off for the first person who asks. Fave song? “Sex on Fire”. Mmmm.

2. Where’s the best place you’ve been this year?

So far? To bed. I love love love sleeping. I’d spend days in bed if I could, but I can’t. I think it’s a conspiracy between all the perky little bitches that jump out of bed in the morning with a smile on their face. Their smiles stay up just as long as their boobs do. Bloody annoying and hard on those of us who are not so blessed.

3. Did you ever play ‘Dungeons and Dragons’?

Um. No. BUT! I did marry an uber geek in the form of Hotty Hubby who is not only an avid fan of “Dorks & Dumbasses” but also plays “Magic” and other games played by the residents of Geekville. He keeps trying to recruit me and he almost got me before I smacked myself in the head and came to my senses. Nice save, eh?

4. Who’s your favourite writer? Which of their books is your favorite?

Hoooo boy. I read so many books and love so many authors. I’m a huge fan of Kurt Vonnegut and Charles Dickens, my favourite novels being “Slaughterhouse Five” and “Great Expectations” respectively. In the fluff department though, I’m rather partial to anyone who can write books about vamps with any small amount of talent.

5. What is the biggest crime you have ever committed? Did you get caught? If yes, what happened?

Erm. I have not committed a crime. Actually that’s not true. I’m led to believe that it’s illegal to drive and talk on your cell at the same time in this country. I did that the other day. Didn’t get caught. There’s also those drugs I took back in the day…but again, not caught.

6. What would you do if you were male for the day?

Play with myself. All day. Isn’t that what they do anyway? And enjoy peeing standing up. Sweet!

7. Do you have any phobias?

Spiders. Nasty little buggers. I’m not deathly afraid so I guess it’s not technically a phobia. Heights. Hate them. I had a very short term boyfriend that lived in an apartment on a very high up floor of a tall building. He loved going out onto the balcony to make out. I told him if he made me go out there again he’d be making out with vomit. He didn’t ask me again.

8. How are you feeling right now?

Um. Cold. It’s after 9:30pm which seems to be when my body temperature plummets. It’s like this game that my body likes to play. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Hot. Cool. Warm. Hot. Hot. Really damn cold. Even in the summer. Sad really.

9. Type the first four word the come into your mind. Turn them into a haiku.

Cold feet suck ass, man.
Socks should be mandatory
After 9 p. m.

10. Do you have any collections? If yes, what about those items caught your interest?

Oooooh I love this question. I collect cows! I love cows. When I was younger I got licked by a cow and fell in love. (Much the same way Hotty Hubby got my interest actually). Since then I’ve picked up cows wherever I can. When we moved from Canada to NZ I had to leave all but two stuffed cow toys behind so I’ve had to restart, but I’m still collecting them.

11. Name four things you always have with you:

My cellphone, my iPod, my wallet and my boobs. Oh. Sorry, that’s 5 things. I don’t always have my iPod. There, now that’s four.

12. What is your family like?

Dysfunctional like everyone else’s. Divided over many countries. Many generations and new marriages and so on. Huge. But they’re mine. I wouldn’t trade it.

13. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?

My family. Not even just the direct family like Hubby & kids….family in general. Much as they might piss me off from time to time, I’ll not give up on them.

14. Do you have a favorite scar on your body? What is the story behind it?

My c-section scar. It’s a memory of my son’s birth and the emotional and physical journey I had to through to get him into my arms safe and sound. It was hard to trust my gut and go against the advice of my midwife, but if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have the handsome, adorable, smart boy that I do today.

15. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?

Myself. Selfish cow aren’t I? I spend all day thinking about everyone else in my life. Lying in bed at night is my time.

16. What was your childhood nickname?

I nicknamed myself Meggers when I was a kid and it kind of stuck. I’ve been through many nicknames since then (not all of them kind or polite) but Meggers has always been there.

17. How do you decide what to blog about? Any inhibitions?

It’s really just whatever comes to my mind. Which is how we end up with some of the crap that shows up on my blog really. And no inhibitions. I own my words and will talk about pretty much anything.

18. What is something you with you were better at doing?

Being a good parent. I yell too much, spend too little time. I wish I came by it naturally. I really do. Maybe by the time they’re 18 and in full time therapy for the ways I’ve messed them up, I’ll have figured it all out.

19. What is one phrase that you cannot say or hear without cracking up? (Mine, by the way, are crap face or ass eyes. Gets me every time.)

Oh that’s easy. Assclam. Douchecicle. Many others that I probably shouldn’t repeat publicly so as not to offend the sensibilities of your readers 🙂

20. What is one of your goals for this year? Describe what you are doing so far to accomplish it.

Lose a crap load of weight. I’ve been doing well. Swimming. Walking. Weight Watchers. Already down 36 lbs in 16 weeks. I’m happy with that progress and will keep going.

Thank you, Meg, for this very insightful journey into your love of family, cows, and your likelihood to fondle your balls if ever you became a man. I hope everyone has enjoyed this as much as I have.

Now go read her blog!!

An Interpretive Dance I Like to Call, “The Bullet Point.”

Excuses for neglecting my blog (feel free to believe whichever you choose):

  • I was attacked by a mob of angry chickens.
  • Damn those holidays. They take up all your time.
  • I have attempted to have some semblance of a life outside of my home/away from my computer.
  • I developed an unnatural fear of cheese and avoided mice of all kinds.
  • I didn’t feel like writing.
  • I am a giant, insensitive douche.
  • Bacon.

Kickass New Rocket Tricks:

  • He will act out and mimic the sound for the following animals: dog, cow, chicken, rooster, bear, fish, lion, monkey, horse, sheep, and elephant.
  • He is walking!
  • Musical instruments he will pretend to play: drums, fiddle, and guitar.
  • He gives high fives, bumps fists, and gives eskimo kisses.
  • When asked what The Count says, he responds with , “Ah! Ah! AAAAAAH!”
  • He is learning to feed himself. A bath is occasionally required after one of these sessions.


  • He headbangs in his car seat whenever we play any Metallica while driving.
  • He will also headbang to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. That song, apparently, fuckin’ rocks.
  • When the theme music for Family Guy begins, he will immediately stop whatever he is doing and intently watch the television.
  • You can ask him to bring you a specific book from his collection and he will bring it right to you.

A Photo Montage I Like to Call, “Playing Catch Up.”

Oliver’s 1st Birthday




That last two photos are not a photoshopped joke. We actually gave him a gigantic piece of cake to trash. He munched on this for about twenty minutes. After the party it took another two hours of cruising round and round the couch before he finally passed out on the floor.

Gingerbread, Bottle Rockets, Gun Powder, Oh My!




Your Assignment For Next Week:
Submit a question (or more, if you would like) to the Ask Sus Anything Your Heart Desires panel. You can submit your question(s) in the comments of this post. Answers will be given a week from today.

Your Aunt Becky Has Some Questions For You!

Yes, it’s true! Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka is interviewing each and every lovely reader willing to answer her. So, of course, I am playing along. But wait! There’s more! She is also giving away a book to a random person who participates in the interviewing process.

Are you telling me that I get to answer a questionnaire AND I may win a book?! Well slap my ass and call me Susie.

Mommy Wants Vodka

1) Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?

Do they have the potential to prevent my ice cream from EVER MELTING?

2) If you had to choose one word to banish from the English language, what would it be and why?

“Moist.”

Gross. Just say it.

“Moist.”

See.

Gross.

3) If you were a flavor, what would it be?

Peppermint

4) What’s the most pointless annoying chore you can think of that you do on a daily/weekly basis?

This question assumes that I actually do chores that regularly. But if I had to pick something I would say: changin’ the tickin’ in Ma and Pa’s mattress. (Is it just me or does the word “chore” start the theme song to Little House on the Prairie in your head?)

5) Of all the nicknames I’ve ever had in my life, Aunt Becky is the most widely known and probably my favorite. What’s your favorite nickname? (for yourself)

Jimmy Two Boobs

6) You’re stuck on a desert island with the collective works of 5 (and only five) musical artists for the rest of your life. Who are they?

Muse, Billy Holiday, Eric Satie, Michael Jackson, and Peter Gabriel

7) Everything is better with bacon. True or false?

Absolutely true.

8 ) If I could go back in time and tell Young Aunt Becky one thing, it would be that out of chaos, order will emerge. Also: tutus go with everything. What would you tell young self?

Don’t be so afraid of failing.

An Interview Featuring Moi!

Some of you may have heard of the Great Interview Experiment happening, again, over at Citizen of the Month. If not, I highly recommend checking it out. It’s a brilliant way to meet other bloggers and gain new readers.

I decided to participate again this year (in fact, I get to interview Maggie from Mind of a Mad Woman – WOOHOO!!), and have been interviewed by the lovely Maya at Strait Jackets Are Slimming. Isn’t that a fantastic blog name?!

Anyhoooo…if you have a moment, go check it out!

I Am Spending Thanksgiving at Moonspun’s.

Well at least in the blogging sense. I am guest-blogging for the lovely Moonspun, today.

I will be back for more blogging, after your regularly scheduled program.

Things and Stuff and Stuff and Things

I know a lot of you have asked what happened with my job, and I have not replied back to you. Sorry about that. I will. I am just waiting for a few things to settle down with that before I can let loose on what is going on. But let me just give you a little nugget…I am/was pissed!! How is that for a teaser?! Anyways, I will write about it at some point.

But for now, it has been strange being without a job. I have held a job, in some capacity or another, since I was about 11 years old. I almost don’t know what to do with myself. And on the other hand I know exactly what I should do with myself, but have to really push myself to do it. And even then I feel like I come up short. It’s strange. I feel excited for the opportunity to get some things done, and yet, incredibly unmotivated to do them all at the same time. It’s been an awkward transition, that is for sure, and I need to get my shit together.

I also keep thinking about all the people I have been neglecting. LilSass, I am so sorry I haven’t been writing very often. I think of you all the time. Miss Grace, I still owe you a CD from the April CD Exchange and can’t believe I have been such a slacker on that. I love the CD you sent, by the way. Thank you! I still read all of your blogs (Badass, Lola, Moonspun, X, Heather, and on and on.), and I am sorry I haven’t been commenting as much as I used to. I guess I just needed a breather.

My business is coming along slowly but surely. It is very much in the planning stages, at this point. I have been trying to figure out how to write a business plan and how I want to organize my business. It has been incredibly challenging. I worry that I just don’t have the mentality and demeanor it takes to run a business and I get very overwhelmed. I just need to keep reading and learning and maybe it won’t feel like so much after a while. I worry, too, that I won’t follow through with this. I have to admit that I am alot of “talk”, at times, and very little “do.” Which is stupid. Nothing is stopping me from doing any of the things I have talked about doing. I just need to get out of my own damn way!

The one thing I really want to do is to start documenting Ollie’s first year in a more hands on fashion. I need to keep a better record of his “firsts.” Like the fact that he has his first tooth! Bottom center; so cute!! And that he is rolling over in both directions (front to back, back to front), finally! And how he has grown two inches in the past two months (the kid is part weed, I swear!) Oh and on top of that he has figured out how to wave hello and goodbye to us.

There are just so many things I love about our little boy.

I love the way his head is a miniature version of Jeremy’s.

I love the way he sucks on his ENTIRE binkie.

I love that he is CONSTANTLY pulling this face.

I love the way he looks you square in the eye and pulls this face when he is taking a huge dump. (And I love, even more, that it is the exact same face that Jeremy pulls when he is acting like he is taking a huge dump.)

I love that he looks just like his daddy when he has on his sunglasses.

I love that he now prefers to sleep on his stomach and that he sleeps with his left leg pulled up higher than the right, just like I do.

I love that he is starting to understand what it means when I hold up the camera and now starts to ham it up!

I love this.

My favorite thing of all, though, is the way he growls like a little monster when he is cuddling with his stuffed animals. Jeremy and I would always make growling noises when we would tickle him or “wrestle” with him, and I love that now he does that himself. Hilarious!! His little face get so serious and scrunched up, like he’s the scariest little monster on the planet.

I would be terrified of the sheer mass of cuteness heading my way. It’s JUST TOO MUCH!!!