Everyday Life – Super Baby!

In Which I Scrub the Carpet

Today was our typical Sunday. Jeremy played golf with clients. Rocket and I played out in the beautiful sunshine, reading books and playing with various tupperware containers. When it became too toasty, and I worried about the little man getting too much sun, we moved inside and Rocket spent the next little while hanging out, contentedly, in his jumper.

Shortly after, Jer returned from the golf course, smiling as he looked upon our little guy. Bending down he comments, “Ew. Did he poo?”

“Probably,” I replied. “He was making the face, I need to change him.”

It is then that something odd caught my eye. A strange coloring underneath Rocket’s jumper. What is causing that? I wonder. Is that a reflection?

Oh no.

Oh dear god.

Rocket wasn’t just filling his shorts…he was overflowing them.

Underneath his jumper was a huge puddle of shit…that he had been JUMPING IN, unbeknownst to me.

It was all down the back of his leg, all over his feet, and in between his toes. It was AWFUL!!

After I stripped him down and bathed him, I headed off to the store to purchase some matches carpet cleaner to remove to vile stain. On my way, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She LAUGHED HER ASS OFF, and then proceeded to tell me how to get it out of the carpet with baking soda.

“Are you speaking from experience?” I ask her.


So I turned back around to try the home remedy of baking soda shit remover. It took a good twenty minutes of scrubbing, and two rolls of paper towels, but I finally got the carpet clean.

According to my mom, I am officially a mom.

I guess that time when I shoved a kid out my vagina didn’t count.


I worked in sales. I don’t know if I ever made mention of that on this blog. I have always been very VERY careful about what I said here about my place of employment, in the off chance that they found this site. No one there knew of its existence, at least not from me, and I wanted to keep it that way. The only thing I have really mentioned is that they were letting me work from home.

That is no longer the case, and therefore, I no longer have a job. If you want more details on what happened you can shoot me a quick email. But I won’t be posting about it here. There is still too much at stake and I can’t afford to fuck up any possible reference that I might have.

Am I scared? You bet your ass I am. Am I excited to be able to stay home with Oliver for a while? YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM!! It has been almost three weeks since I lost my job and I can already see that Rocket is growing and learning in leaps and bounds since I have been able to devote my full attention to him.

We have been reading a ton of books and practicing our letters and learning about rhyming. I know he is only 6 months (ONLY SIX MONTHS!! HA!), but I can already see him trying to soak up everything I am saying. He watches my face, with such intensity, and you can see him trying to figure out how to form the words with his mouth. He has started imitating the sounds we make. It’s hilarious to hear him growl as he wrestles with his bunny. Or squeal with joy when he discovers the tags on his blanket.

He is sitting up completely unassisted and loves it. Sometimes I think he would sleep sitting up if he just wasn’t so damned tired. I love seeing him so interested in and excited about his surroundings. It’s a whole new view of his world!

The weather here has been fantastic. So we have been going on many walks, checking out the local parks, and hanging out with Jer at the golf course.

Jeremy is so excited to teach Ollie how to play golf. He has already purchased the tiniest putter you have ever seen! We talk about how cool it will be to take him to play a quick round before school starts in the morning. Hopefully he likes golf but, if not, that’s ok, too. We aren’t going to be the sort of parents the try to force their kids to like something just because we do. If Rocket wants to be a dancer, instead, that is cool with us, too!

So what am I going to do now that I am unemployed? I am finally going to start my design company. This is something that I have wanted to do my entire life. I have talked about this for as long as I can remember. And now I feel I am finally ready. I feel confidant that I can do this. I am not going to say too much about it at this point, since it is very much in the beginning stages. This is also the reason that I won’t be blogging quite as often as I had in the past. I really want to focus as much attention as I can to this. But let me just say that I am SO SO SO EXCITED!!! As soon as my website is up, I will let you all know.

And I am going to start painting again! I used to paint for hours and hours, and in the last year I haven’t painted once. I need to start using my talents. I miss feeling proud about something that I have created. Of course, Rocket, fits that description better than anything, but this is different. This is a way for me to express how I am feeling when words fail me. It’s who I am. I am an artist and I need to be confident in my abilities.

Heads up! Very exciting things are heading our way!!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Everyday Life – Teething.

I Should Have Posted This Earlier as a Warning to Rocket.

He has no idea what he has gotten himself into.

From our trip to Curacao. Me at 7 months.

It is I, Captain Vegetable!

A few days ago, I took Rocket to his 4 month follow up and, once again, the poor little guy was stabbed repeatedly by an evil, evil bitch. Ok. Ok. She was actually very nice and worked very quickly. But I hate the fact that he gets the first shot and then looks at me like, “GODDAMNIT WOMAN! I THOUGHT WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!” I fear that as he gets older, and more aware of what is happening, these vaccinations are going to get worse and worse.

The next day, whenever I would lay him down, he would FUCKING. FREAK. I kept imagining him putting two and two together…”Hmmmm…the last time she laid me down like this….WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!”

So. It’s been a little rough these last couple days. And there has been vast amounts of holding and cuddling, and apologies.

But on a more exciting note, Rocket is growing, phenomenally. He is 14 lb 9 oz and 27 inches long. Big! It’s ridiculous to put him next to a baby his same age. He looks like Andre the Giant. I’m going to have to teach him to fight, sportsman like.

The doctor also told us that we could start introducing him to rice cereals and fruits, etc. Jeremy was totally stoked to find this out and asked if he could be the first to feed him. How cute is that! So, today I picked up a couple different flavors of cereal and a few little jars of baby food to try out.

Jer decided to try out carrots. It was so adorable to watch him carefully feed Rocket, and to wait in anticipation for his reaction. Does he like it? Does he know what to do with this? He does! Check it out! He’s eating real food!! Truthfully, I got a little choked up. It was such a sweet moment between Jer and Rocket.

He is also cutting his first tooth. So the poor little guy will just start screaming and screaming, out of nowhere. By the time we get his gums covered in novocaine, or whatever the hell that stuff is, he has worked himself up into such a frenzy that it takes a good twenty minutes to calm him down, after which, he passes. out. I hope he gets all of his teeth very quickly. I can’t stand to see him so miserable. I also can’t wait until we get some teefers in the cute little mug of his!

Our little boy is growing up.

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are!

I don’t know if I any of my readers are still around, but I figure it is time to start writing again. I stopped writing, because the things I have been dealing with are things that I didn’t want to write about on this blog. Not that I have ever really had a problem being open about just about anything, here. But I was in a place where I didn’t want to open myself up for advice or words of encouragement from just anybody. I don’t know if that makes any sense. I was in such a funk, that just the thought of someone giving me an “Oh honey…it’ll be okaayyy,” patronizing look of concern, made me want to wipe that fucking look right off their face. So I shared what I was dealing with with those that I felt could help me the most, and with whom I was okay to totally breakdown in front of.

I am really trying to have a better outlook on who I am becoming as a mother and as a new kind of wife. Let’s be honest, having a child has a HUGE affect on your marriage. Not in a bad way, necessarily, but it makes a relationship that was once so easy and carefree, into something that you really have to pay attention to, and make sure that it is getting the care and nurturing that it deserves. So much time is spent taking care of your child, that it is easy to overlook, or neglect to most important thing. The stability of the parents.

Nothing has happened to make me make those last comments. I have just become overly observant to how much care and effort is required to keep a relationship strong. I admire and applaud the marriages that have lasted and are happy and loving (that is key…a relationship can last and still be shit), especially in large families. I look up to you and hope to learn from your success.

I also realized that a huge reason that I have been so down, is simply because I am very lonely. Jeremy and I have a great relationship. But I need something outside of our relationship. Something tangible. Something that is just for me. The friendships I have made through this blog I cherish. But I can’t call up LilSass or Moonspun and say, “Let’s go grab some coffee,” or “Do you want to go see a show?” They are clear on the other side of the country. And yes, I have friends who live “close by,” but that is still a 30 minute drive to see them. Not really conducive for the spur of the moment hang out.

I was thinking the other day about how I need to make some friends in my neighborhood. And then I had a huge epiphany. I am SURROUNDED by family up here. My aunt and her family live less than 5 miles away, and my uncle and his family are no more than 10 miles away. I ran into my aunt the other day at the store, and it was so good to see her. I couldn’t believe how nice it was to see my family. I have decided to make an effort to spend more time with them. I don’t know if any of them read this blog, but if they do, I hope they are okay with that!

So many changes have occurred with Oliver in the few weeks that I was away. He is growing like a weed!! And he is so. fucking. cute! Good lord just look at him!

He is so smart! He rolls over from his back to his stomach, now. He can almost sit up by himself for brief moments. I think he may cut his first tooth very very soon. And my favorite thing of all…he talks!!! Well coos and gurgles. It’s not like we are discussing politics or anything. Who knows? Maybe in his mind we are. The politics of Dragon Tales and Zaboomafoo. We can carry on conversations and he sighs and squeels, giggles and screams. It is so awesome! I can’t get enough of it! And he is curious about everything. He reaches for everything, and watches everything with such an intense interest. I can’t wait until he can really start talking and I can really teach him about letters and numbers and how to tackle his dad. It is going to be so much fun!

I think that is a long enough post for now. I hope I haven’t lost to many of you while I was away. I look forward to catching up on your lives as well.

Word to your mother.

He’s a Goddamn Genius!

Rocket currently sleeps in our bedroom. This will not be a permanent arrangement, by any means. But while he is young and the three of us are getting used to being a family, it is comforting to have him close by.

Anyways, his bassinet touches the end of our bed, running parallel to the foot board. Convenient when he cries in the middle of the night. I don’t even have to get out of bed to check on him. I can just peek over the end if I need to. But this little stinker has figured out that we are just over that little wall. If we don’t attend to him when he starts fussing, after a while he will wiggle his body until his feet are touching the side of his bassinet that touches our bed. And then he will KICK THE END OF OUR BED, like, “HEY! I know you’re up there!” It cracks us up!! He is too smart. Trouble, I tell you. I sense nothing but trouble.

Spransy Quote of the Day

Jeremy: You’re such a mom right now.

Me: Why?

Jeremy: Because your like breast feeding and knitting at the same time.

Me: I’m a multi-taskin’ motha fucka!

Jer: Well maybe not quite so motherly.

Me: Why? Because of the multi-tasking?