Back in Business

After much deliberation with myself and my other self, I have decided to start blogging, again. Will people care? Who knows? I wish I could say, “Who cares?” but I would just be kidding myself. I kept saying that the reason I stopped blogging was because I got tired of feeling like I had to write for everyone else. Truthfully a small part of me does want to write for the masses. I want your feedback. I want to share my experiences with you. Otherwise I would just dig out my New Kids on the Block diary, bust open the lock whose key is now long gone, and start pouring my heart out on the pages remaining untouched since 7th grade.

Wow. Even now, just the simple act of writing is bringing a sense of lightness and peace to my heart that I haven’t felt in a very long time. Interesting how I never truly realized how much doing this meant to me. So enough of the sentiments, let’s get on with the gettin’ on!

Where have I been, you ask? What have I been doing? Dude. What haven’t I been doing?!

Working, that’s what. Well in the employed sense. Believe me, being a stay at home mom is work, but incredible, life-changing, worthwhile work that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I am amazed and blown away everyday by Rocket’s accomplishments. He is becoming such a little character with a great sense of humor! For example, when something goes wrong, he now says, “What the deuce?!”

Oh by the way, he is almost 2 and a half now. I tried to pause time as long as I could, but he must have found a worm hole or something, because he is growing up a lot faster than I anticipated. My little baby as turned into a full fledged couch jumping, puddle stomping, story telling, song singing, cars loving boy.

I am going to keep this first post very brief. I just really wanted to say, “Hey. I’m here again. Do you remember me? I hope you come back to visit, again. I’d love to see your lovely faces.”

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To Blog or Not to Blog

I have been going back and forth for a long time, now on whether or not I should keep writing here. Does anyone still even read this thing? Would anyone care if I stopped?

I don’t know.

Things and Stuff and Stuff and Things

I know a lot of you have asked what happened with my job, and I have not replied back to you. Sorry about that. I will. I am just waiting for a few things to settle down with that before I can let loose on what is going on. But let me just give you a little nugget…I am/was pissed!! How is that for a teaser?! Anyways, I will write about it at some point.

But for now, it has been strange being without a job. I have held a job, in some capacity or another, since I was about 11 years old. I almost don’t know what to do with myself. And on the other hand I know exactly what I should do with myself, but have to really push myself to do it. And even then I feel like I come up short. It’s strange. I feel excited for the opportunity to get some things done, and yet, incredibly unmotivated to do them all at the same time. It’s been an awkward transition, that is for sure, and I need to get my shit together.

I also keep thinking about all the people I have been neglecting. LilSass, I am so sorry I haven’t been writing very often. I think of you all the time. Miss Grace, I still owe you a CD from the April CD Exchange and can’t believe I have been such a slacker on that. I love the CD you sent, by the way. Thank you! I still read all of your blogs (Badass, Lola, Moonspun, X, Heather, and on and on.), and I am sorry I haven’t been commenting as much as I used to. I guess I just needed a breather.

My business is coming along slowly but surely. It is very much in the planning stages, at this point. I have been trying to figure out how to write a business plan and how I want to organize my business. It has been incredibly challenging. I worry that I just don’t have the mentality and demeanor it takes to run a business and I get very overwhelmed. I just need to keep reading and learning and maybe it won’t feel like so much after a while. I worry, too, that I won’t follow through with this. I have to admit that I am alot of “talk”, at times, and very little “do.” Which is stupid. Nothing is stopping me from doing any of the things I have talked about doing. I just need to get out of my own damn way!

The one thing I really want to do is to start documenting Ollie’s first year in a more hands on fashion. I need to keep a better record of his “firsts.” Like the fact that he has his first tooth! Bottom center; so cute!! And that he is rolling over in both directions (front to back, back to front), finally! And how he has grown two inches in the past two months (the kid is part weed, I swear!) Oh and on top of that he has figured out how to wave hello and goodbye to us.

There are just so many things I love about our little boy.

I love the way his head is a miniature version of Jeremy’s.

I love the way he sucks on his ENTIRE binkie.

I love that he is CONSTANTLY pulling this face.

I love the way he looks you square in the eye and pulls this face when he is taking a huge dump. (And I love, even more, that it is the exact same face that Jeremy pulls when he is acting like he is taking a huge dump.)

I love that he looks just like his daddy when he has on his sunglasses.

I love that he now prefers to sleep on his stomach and that he sleeps with his left leg pulled up higher than the right, just like I do.

I love that he is starting to understand what it means when I hold up the camera and now starts to ham it up!

I love this.

My favorite thing of all, though, is the way he growls like a little monster when he is cuddling with his stuffed animals. Jeremy and I would always make growling noises when we would tickle him or “wrestle” with him, and I love that now he does that himself. Hilarious!! His little face get so serious and scrunched up, like he’s the scariest little monster on the planet.

I would be terrified of the sheer mass of cuteness heading my way. It’s JUST TOO MUCH!!!

In Which I Steal

That’s right. I am stealing blog ideas from Badass. I thought his idea to have a section of “reader favorites” was brilliant. So I am doing the same. Please leave a comment letting me know which posts you would like me to include.

I will create the section sometime next week.